When You’re Not Happy with the Direction of Your Life

woman stands alone in forest with sad unhappy face thinking
by Vance Larson

I’ve worked in the mental health field for more than 3 decades now, and I am constantly asked “what is the quickest way to turn your life around?” After all these years of coaching, counseling and consulting, there are 5 attributes that I see in the most successful people. In addition, these 5 attributes can be applied in building a profitable business. Because a business, just like people, need a strong foundation to be successful. Without it, they may enjoy success for a period of time, but eventually the lack of foundation will crumble. 

The clients and companies that excelled in this process not only understood the goal, they wanted to change the game. And in order to that, they wanted a road map. And while everyone’s journey was different, the steps were the same. And those who embraced the steps, indeed changed the game. They walked away feeling more confident, capable and authentic. Their game had changed because their lives had changed. And yes, life still throws some curve balls at them. But their foundation is strong, and their confidence is high. So are you ready to change the game? Let’s begin. 

The single most important thing you can do at the beginning of this process is define who you are. And if you’re a business, know what kind of business you want to be. There should be little to no doubt that anyone who comes in contact with you, will know exactly who they are dealing with. (You know the first impressions we have? We should trust them). People will long remember how you make them feel, over what you can do for them. While we don’t necessarily have to be completely transparent with our lives. I like to say be the same person you are behind closed doors, as when you are in public. People really do appreciate knowing who they are talking to. 

Once you have defined who you are, the next step in the process is to shrink your circle. (You may not have to shrink it, but you do need to tighten it up). Your inner circle is literally a barometer to your success. Your circle should inspire and support you. Bring value to your life. They create your environment. Not sure if they’re the right circle for you? Ask yourself if there is a constant flow of positive energy between the two of you? Note the emphasis on “positive”. If your circle drains more than energizes you, it is time to level up. They may not be bad people, but they appear to be bad for you. The same applies in a work environment. A toxic attitude (even if they’re a producer) will eventually contaminate your team. Let them go. 

Step three is the expansion of knowledge. Be open to coaching. Life, business or relationship, we all could sharpen our skill-set. Not only could we, but if you’re still reading this, you should. Find yourself a coach, mentor, mastermind class or other skill building vehicle. I have been blessed to work with some very powerful and influential people. People who in many areas have far surpassed my level of success. So why did they turn to me for coaching? Because I have excelled in certain areas, and they knew they needed help with those areas. And instead of trying to power through, they were smart enough to know that being coachable would accelerate the learning process. It would cut down on the curve. 

And now that you have upped your skill-set, it is time to polish your mirror. And when I say mirror, I am referring to your relationship. Next to yourself, your partner will probably be the person you spend the most time with. Your partner is a reflection of you. And just like your circle, if they are not supportive, kind, loving and force you to level up, you will only go so far, regardless if you have done the other steps. When two people come together with a matching desire for growth and success, they will succeed no matter what there environment. As they encourage and empower each other, they naturally overcome. They have disciplined themselves to be supportive. 

With your game being changed, the last step is to open the door for those behind you. Find a way to give back when you reach your success. You have put the work in and you’ve overcome the obstacles. Share your story and skills with someone who needs a hand up. Because life is so much bigger than you, make it more than about you. For when you do. Your life’s story becomes a legacy. And there is no greater success. 

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