I was working with a male client no too long ago. He was having some relationship issues. Just the other day, I read an article about the surge of women dating women. Which was good for me, because it was on track with how I worked with my client. The article said that women are dating women, not so much for sex, curiosity and so on, but for connection. While I don’t know if that is true, it sure sounds plausible.
Getting back to my client, he said that he and his wife had been disconnected for quite some time. When I inquired about their communication style, he said it’s great. That he takes her out to dinner every Friday night. That was not what I was talking about. I was talking about all the little things you can do to communicate. His reply was, that a weekly dinner is more than most women get. I told him that he didn’t have a marriage, he had a weekend wife.
There are literally thousands of ways that you can communicate in a relationship. And the more you have, the better of the relationship will be. I know that life keeps us all busy, but dinner on a Friday night, ain’t going to cut. Communication is a day in day out practice. I like to think of it more like a dance. And with different styles of music, you will dance differently.
While I have a few close friends, 9 times out of 10, I would prefer to hang with my wife. Why? Because of how we dance. We take an active interest in each other every day. We enjoy most of the same things and are open to the things that we would not normally be drawn to. You know, we dance. Just because we have different preferences when it comes to music, I still would want to dance with her, more than spending time with my friends. Don’t get me wrong. I love my man time. But I crave my wife time. Two decades later, we’re still dancing.
I was talking to my client about this. He said he simply doesn’t understand his wife. I told him that he doesn’t have to understand. He just has to show a genuine interest. That was pretty much echoed in the women dating women article. The article went on to say, that women desire a deeper connection, that when they don’t get it from their man, they sometimes venture out to a source that can meet that need. And while I think we all do that on some level, if we took the time to communicate with our partner, a lot of relationship discord could be circumnavigated.
As I tell all my clients with relationship issues, you’ve got to keep dancing. You’ve got to keep dating. You’ve got to keep listening. Because when the connection is gone, the music stops. And no one wants to be a weekend wife.
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