Estimated reading time: 2 minutes
From the beginning, part of our needs is to have our feelings validated, to accept them and allow them to flow through our energy system. The alternative is for our feelings to be repressed (that is, pushed down in our energetic system) when we feel we are not supported in validating them.
Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. ~ Harold Hulbert
The repression of feelings over extended periods of time drains our energy and can lead to disease in later years. Emotional health and well-being require all of our emotions to flow freely, allowing us to feel healthy and vital. When a child’s emotions such as anger or sadness are validated, they feel nurtured emotionally and understood with love and compassion. Love and compassion assist us in flowing with life, as a full expression of ourselves, with an open, loving heart.
Children already have open hearts. Our job as parents is to maintain a child’s open heart while opening our own, rather than shutting it down in any way. When our feelings are validated by another, including the ones we may find difficult, such as sadness, hurt, anger, and disappointment, we learn the valuable life skill of accepting all our feelings.
When we repeatedly teach our children that only certain emotions such as happiness and joy—the good feelings— are appropriate, it becomes part of the child’s conditioning. The feelings that the child is taught are unacceptable will then be repressed into their unconscious causing them to become increasingly disconnected from how they feel. They then will not be able to cope with “all” feelings in their life, creating a lack of resilience around emotions that they feel are not acceptable.
These feelings can start to drive a child unconsciously. As an adult, they can act on these feelings unconsciously out to release the comfort they feel within. If instead, they are taught that all feelings are fine and to let them flow, they will develop emotional resilience. Instead of their emotions controlling them, they will be in control of their emotions.
Allowing a child to have their emotions allows them to feel that they are the masters of their inner world, rather than their inner world controlling them. Emotional mastery in this way enhances a child’s confidence and optimism, as they know that they have the ability to handle life’s challenges.
Accepting and validating our children’s feelings is one of the greatest gifts we can give them to support them in remaining connected to their natural state of love and developing the qualities of wisdom, compassion, and self-assuredness.