Why You Should Give People Space

man sadly sits alone on bench face down between two bushes
by Vance Larson

Latitude. Giving people the space to be themselves. An art that most of us have forgotten. We are quick to criticize, and slow to praise. We latch onto what is wrong, and overlook what is right. What’s worse. We even do it to ourselves. Let us embrace the race that so many of us are in, and create space.

I know when I was growing up, a lot of people overlooked my limited thinking. They gave me latitude to figure it out. And that’s not always easy. Watching someone you love believe in something that you know (from repeated experience) is going to bring a bad result. Or we continue to listen to thoughts that bring nothing of value, but you listen anyway. This is how people grow. Surely what you believe today, is not what you believed a few years ago. In fact, many of us change our opinion just as soon as the next FaceBook meme hits our feed. What am I saying? Change is okay. Differences of opinion are too.

May we learn to be patient with ourselves and others. If you truly want to connect to someone, just listen. This is something that I teach when I am called to do sales training. Some would say, “focus on the pain points.” Others would say, “sell the problem so you can sell the solution.” I like to go a different route. I like to listen. Why? Because so many of us listen to answer, instead of listening to build rapport. In sales, I give the client latitude to take me on their journey, before I pitch. This is how you build relationships. This is how I sell.

All relationships will present with a unique set of challenges. And when those challenges hit, you can focus on the pain point, you can focus on selling the problem, to sell the solution. Or, you can listen. What do you think would breed a better result? It doesn’t matter if it’s a work, love or family relationship. When you listen, you in fact give people latitude. And that’s how we get past problems. Why do you think we say “boxed into a corner”? Because when we don’t give latitude, there is nowhere to go. Boxed into a corner breeds a bad result.

Latitude in relationships. Latitude in life. Because space, is safe. Don’t crowd yourself, or others. We aren’t meant to be caged. And when you offer latitude, all locks open.

fence, hole, sun

To learn more about Vance Larson, please see his Profile Page.

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