I think most, if not all of us have heard a story about a married couple that have died on the same day. They spent their life together. And when one passed, the other passed shortly thereafter, almost as if they shared the same soul. While these stories are rare. They happen.
As tomorrow is Valentines Day, I wanted to write on what a Same Day Same Soul relationship looks and feels like. Spending the last decade working with couples who have become disconnected with each other for many different reasons, I wanted to touch on some of the key points that brings value to any relationship. And what many will find surprising is, the basis of any long term love, will mirror the relationship that you have with yourself. Let me say that again. The relationship that you have with yourself, will be identical to the relationship that you have with your spouse.
In 33 years of providing mental health services, I have never met anyone who holds themselves with high esteem that has coupled up with someone who does not. Sure, I have seen that scenario play out in a new relationship. But I have never seen a “long term” couple with both on opposite ends of the self esteem spectrum. I am sure they might be out there. But I would bet that they are the exception to the rule.
Same Day Same Soul relationships dance between the physical and spiritual realms. Their communication many times is telepathic. While the verbal communication is used more for confirmation, the spiritual bond between the two of them transcends the physical world. It’s like a heightened state of awareness. Both understanding that a transgression against the other, is a transgression against themselves. So there is little conflict. Yes it does happen. But because they share high self esteem, they opt for honesty rather than misery. In other words, they respect each other enough to work towards the truth. Ego’s seldom get in the way.
Same Day Same Soul relationships work because they both cheer for each other. The understand that a win for their spouse is a win for them. While they both are individuals and committed to their own personal development, their growth is enjoyed by both. They are truly connected for better or worse. Not “We’re connected just as long as their is something in it for me”. They are present in each other’s process rain or shine. And it is this type of love that many say they want, but not all are willing to work for it.
Because I have done (and continue to do) some intensive deep personal work, I can’t say for sure that should myself or my wife would die that the other would soon follow suit. But if I were a betting man. Not only would I say yes. I would double down on it.