Making a Relationship Last: Don’t Take Love Off the Menu

by Vance Larson

She doesn’t do, well…the same things in the bedroom that she used to do. That’s what he told me. Ah, the menu… one of my favorite subjects to write about. Here’s how the story goes. Boy meets girl. Boy dates girl. Girl does everything she can to keep him. Time goes by….it comes to a screeching halt. Who is at fault? It’s not the menu. They both created it together. They just stop serving what was on it. No wonder they are both hungry. Let’s jump in.

Adding recipes to the Menu is a cornerstone for a long lasting relationship

New love is exciting love. You bring your “A” game, every game. You know, roses, good morning text, late night talks {among other things} and the list goes on and on. But here’s the thing. As you’re doing all of that, you are creating a menu. In other words, you are creating an expectation. If you do something for the first 6 months to a year in your relationship, and then suddenly stop, what happens? First questions, and then resentments. It’s like you tore the menu in half and said “We don’t serve appetizers anymore”. Wait, what? The appetizers are what made the meal…

Wife and I have been together for nearly 20 years. And to this day, I still open the car door for her. {Some of you younger people may not know what I am even talking about.} The point that I am trying to make is, I value my wife. Instead of taking items off of the menu, I am constantly looking for items to add on. And she does too. We set a high bar when we first got together. And because we did, we never stop adding to our menu.

I asked him if he still does all those things he did to get her? Before he could answer, she almost screamed out “No!” I broke it down for them, and told them to both go back into the kitchen, because the menu is looking a little lite. There was a little push back, but we are literally talking about the person that you want to spend your life with. Especially when it comes to marriage. You know that whole “Till death do us part” thing? Oh yeah, that…

If you’re in a long term committed relationship, why wouldn’t you want to do things that makes your partner happy? You do realize that happy goes where happy is. There is a saying that people will always do more when they feel appreciated. So give them something to appreciate. You’ll both win. And before you know it, you’ll enjoy reading the menu again. 


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