Am I Addicted to Bad Relationships?

couple haves conflict in public park man trying to explain while woman angrily waking away
by Sandy Hounsell

 Some women seem to limp from one bad relationship to another. 

And no matter how their friends try to help them see that the men they choose are no good for them.

The women themselves just don’t see it as that way.

Their friends just can’t understand why these women are willing to get emotionally bruised and battered every time they hook up with men who ‘just don’t care’.

Maybe they are simply fascinated by the bad boy image and the immediate thrill it brings.  

Relationships built on ‘moving sand’ may be feel like fun for a while but when the initial rush is over, heartbreak is sure to follow, leaving you high and dry.

Maybe you want to change people, or;

Maybe you feel it’s your destiny to save these men and somehow teach them to be more loving and respectful.

And then hoping that they will love you in return.   

I’ve helped many women who act as the constant rescuer.

Or are so intent on proving they are lovable. But it’s always been at their own demise. 

They come out of the relationships demoralised, depressed and fearful of being alone for the rest of their life.

Yet after a while they find themselves back in a similar, if not worse relationship.   

That’s when they come to see me.

The need for approval

When we enter a relationship to gain approval, or to feel worthy. Or because we are fearful of never being loved, we will undoubtedly accept someone who has similar underlying issues.

Even though the respective issues may not manifest in exactly the same way.

For example:

A woman who is seeking approval and has low self-worth, can unconsciously accept being dominated or controlled. 

The partner, who also is seeking approval and lacking in self-belief, will control and dominate in order to feel worthy.

In this scenario, their sense of approval comes from having a submissive partner who does everything they are told to do. 

Relationships founded on unhealthy needs will rarely fulfil those desires, leaving one or both partners resentful, feeling lonely or utterly disillusioned with love.

The seeds of such self-sabotaging habits are rooted in our childhood. We learn these habits from our parents.

Even when we are a baby in the womb. And especially from the family environment in which we grew.   

Our young minds are malleable.

Our beliefs, our fears and our habits are shaped by what we see; what we feel; what we hear and by how well or how little our emotional wellbeing is considered.

Breaking poor dating habits

If you want to break poor dating habits that leave you feeling unfulfilled, frustrated or angry, then contact me here at Blisspot.

We can explore how I can help you choose partners who will respect you and who want to be with you.

I am here to help you change your lonely love life into one of enjoying love, that is both fulfilling and unconditional.

To learn more about Sandy Hounsell, see her profile page. 

Book a session with Sandy in regards to relationship healing and counselling here. 

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