I have never seen failure for my book is a work in progress. There have been some very dark chapters, but I am still writing and there lies the ability to keep moving. Even when you have been through your darkest day take one more step.
With about a third of my life left (statistically speaking), I have hit a wall on more than a few occasions. Not only did I hit them, some of them hit back. Enter the night of the dark soul. What is the night of the soul? It depends on who you ask but most versions will include the words spiritual crisis. A crisis so dark, that prayer is no match for this darkness and separation. You are totally left alone with your thoughts and energy.
The good news is that you have a say in the matter and there is power in your response. Saying and doing nothing is a response and it is a strong one at that. View the problem as an opportunity, rather than an obstacle, that too can be very empowering. There have been many conflicts that I have endured, only later to see it as a reward, rather than discord. By way of flow and not force, there somehow always seems to be enough energy to make it through the day. Some may call it a mystical experience, while other may call it luck. I just see it as part of the process. I don’t judge it as good nor bad and I think that’s where many people get themselves into trouble.
Sometimes we enter into a bad season. A bad season being defined as things not going your way. Stuck in a rut but on occasions, sometimes seasons will run together. Imagine living in a warm climate and being perpetually cold. The forecast has been off for more than 6 months. You keep planning for the warmer weather, only it never comes. Our hope turns to frustration. Our frustration turns to fear. We start to believe that we will never be warm again. It’s a vicious cycle and many people play that cycle over and over again.
We need to condition ourselves, NOT to feel sorry for ourselves. I don’t want to minimize what anyone is going though however so many of us have been worn down, that we can automatically conjure up the worse possible scenario. No one escapes painful experiences in their life. Where we get into trouble is holding onto those experiences. I’m not talking about trauma. I’m talking about those situations that lie in between trauma and an unfortunate event. Something like walking out to your car, and noticing that it has a huge dent. Yes, we’re going to be upset with this but how many of us sit with this? I’m not talking about a day or two. I’m talking about the person who is still upset and complaining about it a month later.
I don’t believe in revenge. I believe in distance.
We in most cases will always be presented with two choices. We can focus on what’s left (which is empowering), or, we can focus on what’s gone. Playing the victim card and affirming just how bad life is. I was once asked during one of my lectures: “So, if someone did something mean to you, wouldn’t you want to get revenge?” Without hesitation I said, “I don’t believe in revenge. I believe in distance.” See where I am going with this? Bad days, weeks and months are inevitable. Why compound the problem by giving up our precious peace with holding onto them?
There are healthy ways to deal with these problems. Seeking revenge, playing victim and constantly talking about them does not help. In fact it does the complete opposite. So get on board, knowing that your life is a book in progress. There will be dark chapters however you have the resilience to work through them and to become stronger and more resilient than ever.