How to Go from Feeling Alone to Connected

two women sits in office talking
by Deborah Fairfull

Estimated reading time: 2 minutes

We can all feel lonely from time to time. It can even be possible to be a room full of people and feel lonely and isolated. We can also be completely by ourselves and feel connected, fulfilled and overflowing with joy and energy. When we feel alone, we feel more introverted and cut off from others. Rather than feeling open and expanded, we can feel flat and down. Feeling alone or connected is a state of mind.

Our thoughts directly influence how we feel. By working with our thoughts, we can master our inner world and how connected we feel to life around us. When we quieten our mind, we are more able to be aware or present to what is going on around us. A calm mind allows focused attention on the inherent beauty that is everywhere. When we are in a present state aware of life around us, we automatically feel connected and supported by life. It is impossible to feel alone in this state.

I would rather slip up beside you as you work in the garden, or look in your eyes and smile as I give you your change. I would rather wash your windows carefully, be courteous when you ask for direction. I would rather appear to you as a simple man, woman or child, simply being, enjoying being, taking time for the little things. Look for me, then in these ways. See me in everyone you meet, whether they recognise my Presence or whether they yet sleep. See me in all. For I am there, eternally, behind every pair of eyes. ~ Ken Carey 

Presence can be witnessed in all forms of life. Presence is in the moments that people take to enjoy their life. Presence can be found equally in big magic moments, such as the breathtaking sunset, and also in the joy of the everyday experience. Walking our children to school can be totally joyful; the exchange of kind words or deeds with a complete stranger can be joyful. Watching a butterfly flit from leaf to leaf can be a truly beautiful experience.

The opportunity to witness beauty abounds. All we have to do is be aware and notice. Recently on a trip to the park with my five-year-old daughter, Scarlett, I consciously focussed on being present. I listened to every word she said. I did not let my mind take over with thoughts about the past or future, which would take me away from the joy of being with her. The result was that we had the most enjoyable afternoon.

We noticed a baby lorikeet on the ground and the beauty of the magnificent Morton Bay fig trees by the beach. Our afternoon tea was delicious, and swinging Scarlett on the swing was pure bliss. Nothing had changed in the environment, only my perception. I was fully engaged in the present moment, and this allowed me to access the joy that is inherent in all of us. Scarlett was effortlessly present and joyful, as children often tend to be.

Quietening our mind and going beyond thought allows us to hear our intuition, our internal wisdom. Our intuition is our wise self talking to us—that is why our intuition is never, ever wrong! When we listen to our intuition, we are accessing our inherent wisdom, our source of power. The intelligence of our intuition knows everything. We can ask our intuition what it is we’d like to know. If it does not provide the answer directly, it will guide us to the correct course, person, or book or give us the answer through our dreams for example.

When our thoughts are consumed with the past or future, we find it difficult to connect to our intuition. Just like static can prevent clear transmission from a radio station. When we are fully focussed on the present moment and free from restless thoughts, it is easier to hear what our intuition is telling us.

When you create a life based on love rather than fear it makes sense that you will feel happier, more content and more connected to yourself and everyone around you.

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