Many successful, courageous, powerful, capable women have been highlighted in the press recently as a part of celebrating International Women’s Day. So, before the month is finished, I thought it appropriate to write about women and what makes them stand out. I don’t know any superstars or A Lister’s or sports legends, but I do know some remarkable women who are achieving greatness in their own world and so I will refer to them.
When thinking of a title for this blog I struggled to choose an adjective to describe these women. You see, they could be described as successful, or content, or happy, or strong, or powerful, etc. The reason I struggled to decide is that the same word can conjure up many different images for different people. We all have an unconscious bias, for example: the word CONTENT may make you think of a lady sitting knitting all day; the word HAPPY may have you thinking of someone laughing out loud; the word SUCCESSFUL often makes us assume she is a corporate business woman; the word STRONG might have you label her as stubborn or less feminine. I like the word FULFILLED. Why? Because the women I know who are content with their life, successful in their relationships, have a strong idea of their true selves, are empowered to keep going when times are tough and are generally happy, are women who tell me they feel fulfilled in their everyday life.
Through my work, I have studied these women and learned what makes them tick, what makes them different and what makes them feel fulfilled. In my list of findings below, you will see that these ladies…
- Don’t wear masks—they strive to be real, raw and honest with themselves and others.
- Don’t focus on material possessions. Instead, they define their happiness and success by the quality of their inner/spiritual life.
- Don’t seek comfort. They are keen to learn and grow. They are willing to step out & step up.
- Don’t compare. They live true to their values and follow their own path.
- Don’t let themselves off the hook. They stick to their routine, constantly creating new and better habits.
- Don’t give up, even when the going is tough.
- Don’t seek perfection, just progress.
- Don’t live in the future. They challenge themselves to live in the present.
- Don’t say yes to everything and everyone. They understand the necessity of self-interest.
- Don’t take on other people’s BS and opinions. They respect that everyone is entitled to an opinion and know that they don’t have to carry it like heavy baggage.
- Don’t hide their voice. They feel strong and free to speak out when something doesn’t sit comfortably with them.
- Don’t behave according to feelings. They realise that every feeling/emotion is the result of a thought which leads to an impulsive action, often sabotaging themselves or others.
- Don’t get in their own way. They don’t second-guess themselves, they just do it.
- Don’t multi-task. They focus on one task at a time and do it well until completion.
- Don’t blame others. They accept responsibility for their life and situation.
- Don’t play the victim. They have learned how to communicate effectively with others.
- Don’t indulge resentment. They know not to expect more than people are capable of giving.
- Don’t do guilt. They understand that this would keep them stuck in the past.
A few wee reminders from me:
- Be patient, persistent and pursue your own true north.
- Avoid self-numbing with alcohol, TV, shopping, etc.
- Adopt self-compassion and self-discipline.
- You have a choice and you have a voice.
- Validate yourself every day.