Why You Deserve to Be Happy

man stood beside window thinking worrying
by Vance Larson

the come back is always stronger than the setback

If you’re easily triggered, you should stop reading right now. Because so many of us refuse to accept our part in our pain. We’ve been hurt, and we continue to own it. We identify as victims. We settle for less than we deserve. And finally, we are suffocated.
Heavy. We all are, at one point or another. Heavy with the sins of our past. Heavy with grief, sadness and anger. Instead of stand and deal, we hold on, not heal. Let me start by saying this. Don’t let the sins of someone else, bind you to a life of Hell. You’ve been cheated, abused or victimized. Our instincts may be to fold. Our survival should be fluid. Let me explain.
Sometimes some very bad things happen to some very good people. And then they hold onto the hurt. They let their shine dim. One persons pain, is another persons progress. It’s not about minimizing. It’s about healing. And if you’re being weighed down by some sort of trauma or bad experience, get help. Self help, professional help or spiritual help. Fight for your healing. Fight harder than you ever fought before.
Many times people come to me for coaching and don’t realize that they’re heavy. After a session or two, when we get to the real reason that got them to my door, I refer them out to a therapist. Because they’re too heavy. And life long trauma often requires a team approach. But for those who are refusing to look at their part in their pain, I drill down on them. It is about honesty and acceptance.
I often see people come with hate in their heart. Someone wronged them, and they can’t let it go. I direct them to one of my favorite sayings.

you will not be punished for your anger; you will be punished by your anger

We have got to learn to let some things go. What we hold onto, holds onto us. It will manifest. Try forgiveness. Try acceptance. Give it to God. Go to a meeting. Go to a doctor. Declare today that you will not settle for a life of pain. The road to happiness becomes easier, when we realize that sometimes we impede our healing. We may have no control over what has happened to us. We do have a say on what we’re going to do about it.
Gone should be the days of suffering in silence. And if your circle minimizes your recovery, cut them out. I don’t care if they are your biological family, or family of choice. Life is hard enough, let alone being surrounded by unsupportive people.
Still reading? Good! Make today the day that you lose the weight. Cut the ties. Affirm that you deserve to be happy. Make a plan to heal. Because life is to short, to be heavy. And….
don't stumble over something behind you
To learn more, book a one-on-one session with Vance. 

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