Entering the kingdom of God means feeling, as if we were floating in the womb of the universe, that we are being taken care of, always, at every moment. ~ Stephen Mitchell
Something inside is metamorphosing and many of the things that once seemed very important to me (growing my email list! Selling books! Attracting coaching clients!) now seem nice but not really worth a lot of time and energy.
I’m enjoying life.
Nothing amazing has happened; I’m simply appreciating the day in and day out routine of getting up, having my coffee, reading, watching my daughter spread her wings, meeting a friend, watching a movie, going to work in the restaurant. Not having any ambition for things to be different. Not waiting for a relationship or some form of tangible “success” to make me feel worthwhile.
I honestly used to scoff at the idea that the purpose of life could be as simple as being happy. I thought the real purpose of life was to learn and grow, but now I think that is just the means to the end – and the end is being happy. We learn and grow, not to be better people, or to earn some outer reward (in this life or the next), or to prove ourselves worthy, but simply to be happy. Because until we learn to overcome the ego and its ways, we’ll never truly be happy.
The ego, or mind, is the enemy of true happiness. Ego keeps us focusing on what’s “out there.” How many friends do we have? How much money do we make? How good do we look, and how successful are we, compared to every single person we meet? Depending on the answers to those questions, we may feel “happy” for a while, but it doesn’t last. The ego also tells us that we have to make it all work: we have to make the right decisions, do the right things, be the right kind of people in order to earn our happiness at long last.
All the personal growth work I’ve done over the past decades has led finally to this realization: none of that outward stuff matters. None of it. This is why I now find myself more or less ambitionless. I don’t need anything to be different. Each moment, even the ones in which things seem to be going wrong, is perfect, because in every moment I know that I am loved and taken care of, “floating in the womb of the universe.” This is the message that the soul quietly and constantly reiterates underneath the blaring of the ego’s alarms.
I will keep on writing when I have something to say, and I hope that my readers will understand if my posts are a little less regular! I’m always very happy to hear from you, whether with your troubles or your joys. Through both, I hope you choose to believe that you are loved and taken care of in every moment.