Life is Change and We Can’t Change That

man sits on chair in red leaves forest feeling uncertain
by Vance Larson

Give not into temptation. This is so important when everything is a struggle. There will be times when life will give you 10,000 reason to be unhappy. Ignore every single one of them. And while it is natural to be unhappy when life hard. We must resist that natural state of unhappiness.

Life can be both hard and beautiful at the same time. In fact, the struggle often intensifies the beauty. How many times have things gone repeatedly wrong, only to lead you to a better outcome? It’s not easy. It never is. But with pain comes perspective.

I can recall many years ago, I was waiting in line for my daily cup of coffee. The gentleman standing beside me looked like was a business executive. The women before us was complaining about what a bad day she was having. At that moment, almost as the universe scripted her fate, dropped her coffee. She totally lost it. The business man next to me said to her “May that be the worse thing that happens to you today.” She stormed off and didn’t get it. I did. While I had been a crisis counselor for 2 decades and continually saw the bad go to worse on a daily basis, his words were a great interpretation of appreciating what was still good in our lives.

It is easy to give into the struggle. I compare it to being thrown into the water and then being thrown a 50 pound life preserver. Yes, it is a bad situation. But once we realize we can let go of that extra 50 pounds, it does get easier. In the same way when we are caught in the struggle, continually talking about our problems or feeling sorry for ourselves, is the equivalent to holding onto a 50 pound life preserver. It makes your situation damn near impossible. So don’t do it.

I know many will say that it is easier said than done. And they would be correct. But do you know what the difference is between the person that makes it and the person that doesn’t? The person that makes it, will do anything to keep swimming, despite it may feel unnatural. While the other person holds onto that extra 50 pounds because they see life preserver and they think that it will help. And while life preservers never expire, they do lose their buoyancy over time in the water. So the very things that is supposed to help us, can sometimes be the very thing that takes us down.

Life is change and we can’t change that

Get into the habit of doing a “life” detox. Be it negative people or an out dated belief system. It’s not only okay to let these things go. But it is essential for your mental health. We can fight the natural order of change. Or, we can accept the fact that change is coming, and there is nothing we can do about it. And just like that 50 pound life preserver, the people and beliefs that once were a good fit for you, may now be weighing you down. We grow and evolve. And just because you were taught a belief system when you were a child, it is okay to question it now that you are an adult. Just like it is okay to move on from people who you have outgrown. Life is change. And we can’t change that.

Strive to get to the point in your personal development that you honor change. That as you grow, some things will be lost. And realizing that sometimes loss can be beneficial. It may not always be easy, but by not holding onto the things that no longer serve us, we may just in fact appreciate that life can be both hard and beautiful at the same time. Because life is change. And we can’t change that.

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