I have watched far too many people deny their situation, and by doing so, they often end up in a much worse place, rather than just accepting what is going on, which is actually the reality. I totally get it. Sometimes denial is safe. It’s the very thing that keeps us in a relationship that is toxic. It keeps us at that job that we’re not passionate about. It keeps us from having that medical exam, for fear of the answer. Trust me I get it, but this is harmful.
Instant acceptance is something that I have developed over a lifetime of meditating. Ask anyone who knows me on a personal level, I simply just don’t crumble. I don’t quit. I am realistic, but I get it done. Whether I am doing crisis work. Or, if I am dealing with a crisis in my own life. Acceptance is the first step to taking action. By acknowledging and accepting what is really happening, you can begin the process. In other words, you can process the pain while making progress.
Instant acceptance says, “These are the facts.” That’s it, and that’s all. It is up to us to decide whether to respond or not, but the denial that we carry is safe. Very few embrace change and I firmly believe that everything we want is on the other side of fear. Just think about that for a moment, after leaving that toxic relationship, you go on to find the love of your life. After declaring bankruptcy, the mental strain is lifted. After going to the doctors, you finally take that medication and your symptoms and pain disappear.
Being stuck in traffic, losing your job, watching a loved one pass away. By embracing the reality of the situation, you can begin to move forward, and please know that I am not suggesting how or if you grieve. That process will look entirely different for everyone. I am talking about facing the facts. Accept where you are, then honor what you need.
Acceptance is the answer. It’s not always fun. It’s not always pretty. It is always the first step, to the next step on your journey, and that healing comes, a lot easier with acceptance, than with denial. Just ask that person with multiple DUIs, who says they don’t have a problem. Instant acceptance: It won’t solve all of your problems, but it will create some distance from them.
Book a one-on-one session with Vance Larson, C.H.H.C., M.Ht, and CTC Life, Life coach and counselor here.
