How to Preserve Your Peace

woman sits on rock in peaceful environment
by Vance Larson

Protect your peace. Life is too short to be tethered to things that weigh you down, or people who do not appreciate you. You may just be surprised at how liberating this can be. However, do it for the right reasons. Many are the clients that end up in my office saying that they feel worse now that they cut the cord. We need to remember, that walking away should not be to punish another person. It should be to reward ourselves and peace is that reward.

There is a common theme that I have observed in my coaching practice over the years and that is to protect your peace at all costs. Are you in an abusive relationship, unsupportive family or toxic work environment? Walk away. And this is where it can get tricky. Many people stay with family at a horrific cost to their self esteem. Years and years of neglect and abuse take a toll. They stay out of a sense of duty or guilt, and then pay the price on the back end. If it’s physical abuse don’t walk, run!

We must learn to distinguish true peace, from comfortably numb

To protect your peace, you must first value it and you value your peace by honoring yourself. It is the gift that no one can really give you. Sure, there are some who act as a safe harbor for you, however ultimately, you will have to leave that harbor at some point. That is why protecting your peace is so important. You must learn to distinguish true peace, from comfortably numb. Comfortably numb is what happens when we stay in an environment, or with people that do not have our best interest at heart. Sometimes, we ourselves get comfortably numb in our thinking.

Life has a way of conditioning you to your circumstances. That is why it is so important to walk away from the things that no longer serve you. That includes your internal thought process. Are you holding onto negative thoughts and feelings from years ago? Do you constantly post on social media all your problems? If so, it’s time to walk away.

I have a friend on Facebook who every morning posts something positive and say’s “Have a good day”. What a great start. Then the rest of the day, they proceed to post every annoyance that has happened to them during the course of the day. It is this repetition that keeps them in a mind-set on the other end of the spectrum to gratitude. While I care for this person, I had to unfollow (not unfriend) them, so I didn’t have to witness the multiple daily train wrecks and protect my peace. There are many things we can’t control but the things that we can (especially when it comes to peace), we should.

Changed behavior is the best apology

Walking away takes discipline, however is can be a discipline that is well worth cultivating. As I have said before, I do not believe in burning bridges but I’m old enough to know that changed behavior is the best apology. Sometimes that changed behavior must come from us because many times we can keep ourselves from peace. So be forgiving, but be firm. If you’re not in peace it may be time to walk away from that mind-set, environment or relationship.

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