How Saying No can be Liberating

woman facing backward walks along footpath on field in beautiful sunny sky
by Vance Larson

Many will overlook the hundreds of things you did right, and focus on the one thing you did wrong. Don’t you do the same. Life is hard enough as it is, without you putting unnecessary pressure on yourself. We must cultivate the expectation of how we want to be seen and treated. When we embrace our mistakes and lead with them, we will attract those who will embrace them as well. However, when we embrace our mistakes with the intent to course correct, we affirm our worth as well as sending a powerful message. Despite our imperfections, we are growing and learning about ourselves. Let there be no shame in your evolution.

I was on FaceBook the other night, and a girl that is in one of my groups was doing a live feed. She really put it all out there. She went into great detail about her mistakes including addiction, abuse and some other very personal information. And while I am not a big fan of doing this, I really had to admire her. She was totally fearless in her approach to self accountability. Although I have never met her, she earned my respect.

Too many of us have given our power away. And what’s worse, we have given it away to people who really have no say, or value in our lives. How many of us have at one point or another took a pass on our happiness out of fear of judgement? Just last night I was talking to one of my clients, and this very subject came up. They went onto say that they often barricade themselves in their bedroom, just to avoid confrontation. Heartbreaking! To not feel safe in your own home, has got to be emotionally exhausting. It’s time to find your voice.

“No is a perfectly acceptable answer.”

When was the last time that you put yourself first? Don’t be afraid to say no. And don’t feel the need to explain yourself. No is a perfectly acceptable answer. It is also incredibly liberating. Start saying no to toxic environments and people. Start saying yes to healthier thought patterns and creating your future. It is not your job to stay with people who lack vision, creativity and passion. Nor is it your job to save them. You don’t necessarily need to cut them out of your life, but know their value and your worth. If you can still be friends with them without them draining you completely, by all means continue to be friends. But, if it’s the same negative conversations over and over again, it maybe time to cut the cord. Your evolution should be a revolution. And sometimes you have to fight for it.

Self accountability will be one of your greatest assets in life. Don’t ever compromise yourself for fear of judgment. No one knows your journey. And no one has the right to keep you down when you are trying to better yourself. Your imperfect life is perfect the way it is. Scars are nothing to be ashamed of. Especially when you have learned from them. Use them as a reminder that you’re still here, and that you are a survivor.

Some people like to remind you of your misery, so they can remain in theirs. We all have a past. And when people are focusing on all the wrong that you have done, make a decision to not include them in your future. Because if misery truly loves company. You should opt to rise above misery and allow yourself to experience the joy and happiness that is your birthright.

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