Different Ways Different Days

woman sits on couch in living room crying while elderly lady sitting beside comforting her
by Vance Larson

Some people drink excessively. Some people hang their head and cry. Others run to church. And some people turn into a cold hearted son of a bitch. And you know what? It’s all valid. People grieve everything from death to divorce. Let’s get into it…

Grieving. We all have grieved something or someone at some point. And if you haven’t, I dare say you have not loved. But grieving expresses itself in many ways. And what makes sense to someone, will be completely foreign to others. It need not make sense to you, how someone grieves. Sure, if someone is spiraling out of control, I would hope that you would intervene. But what I am talking about today is, the process.

We mourn different things in different ways. Ever see someone go through a divorce? Some become unrecognizable, while others disappear. Unrecognizable in the fact that they get in shape, become outgoing and go through a rebirth of sorts. Yet others, stay at home and cyber stalk their ex, drinking bottle after bottle of wine. And truth be told, I don’t have a problem with the process, as long as it brings you to peace.

Don’t judge! Silence is a key to heal the grief

People often judge us when we are grieving. As if they know how we are feeling and what is best for us. Trust me, they don’t. And you need not listen, much less buy into their bullshit if you are working through your grief. It is a process. It will look, feel and translate in different ways for everybody. In different ways in different days, your grief will come out the way that it is supposed too. When someone is hurting, we should be a friend. And friends don’t need to have the answers. Friends just need to show up.

So the next time someone from your inner circle is hurting, the best thing you can do is sit in silence with them. Because silence is strength. Silence offer security. And we can’t offer either, while we sit in judgement and pretend to know what someone needs.

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