Where to Find True Self-Worth

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The Author
Vance Larson
This verified expert offers personal coaching services
Posted on Jan 19

You're not feeling like yourself lately. You can't quite put your finger on it, but you seem to have lost that pep in your step. Then one day you're scrolling down your Facebook wall and you noticed that there have been more negative comments than usual. It happens to us all. We may post about politics, faith or even a picture of ourselves in a bathing suit, and out of nowhere, a snide comment gets posted. Then another. You brush it off, but it happens the next day, and the next. You get angry, or you might feel sad. Either way, you're off your game and you don't like it. It may be time for a Facebook fast. 

Facebook fast is exactly what you think it is. You take a break from Facebook and all other social media. Why is this so important? Because far too many of us (especially my younger friends) have gotten into the habit of letting social media define us. We literally get our self worth from it and this is bad on every level.

Just look at your friends list and ask yourself a few questions. Do you even know this person in real life? Is this person someone you actually respect? How often do you communicate with them? It's important to ask yourself these questions, because you can very quickly determine if you should be giving your power away or not? If you don't know, respect and talk with these people, then it should be a non issue. If you do, schedule a call or some coffee time and talk about it in person. Not everything needs to be discussed online. Let me say that again. Leave the important conversations for a call or face to face.

True validation comes from within.

We need to remember that many comments may be coming from someone not putting a lot of thought into your post. Delete the comment, ignore it or block the person. Better yet, don't take it so seriously or opt for the FaceBook fast. Go offline for awhile. Get acquainted with life again without posting your every thought, action and lunch you have. I am not saying that this is a bad thing. I am saying the validation we get (or don't), is the real problem. True validation comes from within. 

A post with 5 positive likes from true and authentic people, is more powerful and morale boosting than a post with 500 mixed comments. Why? Because those who know you will support you. If you're off track, they will not comment negatively for the whole world to see, via social media. It can be used as a learning experience. No argument. No need to defend. Just two people who have mutual respect for each other keeping each other in check. 

Perhaps a Facebook fast not for you? Try the FaceBook cleanse. Again, it's pretty simple to see where I am going. Those 5000 friends you have. They're not your friends. Sure it looks and feels good but, I go back to how many of them do you really know or communicate with? Detox your list of the people that you never hear from. I once heard a parable that said: "anything that we don't use at least once a year should be discarded". I don't necessarily agree with it, but I get where they are coming from. 

Long story short. Social media is good and can be rewarding in many ways. It also can be destructive. So much so, that we hear of a suicide because of social media every few months and this should never happen. So, if you're feeling off consider taking a break from social media Your happiness may very well depend on it. 

 

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