How to Make Your Mind Your Friend

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The Author
Deborah Fairfull
Posted on February 12, 2018

You can trick yourself into believing that your problems are created by other people. Yet in reality it is exhausting and often fruitless trying to control others behaviours to suit yourself. You can certainly inspire and influence others, however in my experience this is much more likely to occur, when we do this from a loving place.

When you are not in our natural, centred, loving place it is usually because you are not in your heart, but rather in your head. Your mind has taken over! You know this has happened when you feel reactive, stressed, depressed, anxious or overwhelmed, for example. This is your clue to take a moment and re-centre. When you recognise that everything starts and ends with your mind, the ONLY thing you can 100% control it allows you to live in an empowered way.

What you think, effects how you feel. You can experiment with this by changing the thoughts that make you feel bad to changing your thoughts where you to feel buoyant and alive inside. Another approach, is to observe all your thoughts as neither good or bad. This removes the stress around the way you feel and keeps you tapped into your all knowing, wise self.

You are not in the world the world is in you.
~ The Vedas

When you learn to make friends with your mind, you become a calm, stable presence. People can sense this and automatically they will feel safe when they are with you, as your loving presence provides a space for them to grow and experience true intimacy.


The Power of the Mind

Your mind is the most powerful tool you possess in terms of creating the life that you desire. When you are unaware of what is going on in your mind and are unable to choose your thoughts that determine your emotional state, you are allowing your subconscious to run the show.

Your subconscious is made up of your life experiences. While many of these are positive, most of us have had experiences that have been challenging. When challenging experiences are repeated over and over again they can manifest as negative patterns of behaviour also known as your conditioning or shadow. Transforming your patterns of behaviour can be wonderful opportunities to grow, allowing you to feel more energetic and empowered as you learn new, positive, life-enhancing patterns of behaviour.


Beyond Criticism

Everybody has patterns of behaviour or a shadow self. This is not an opportunity to criticise, be negative or hard on yourself. In fact when your patterns emerge, it is an opportunity to practice self-love as you heal your patterns. Tap into your inner world, observe any negative voices towards yourself and change them to ones that are kind and loving.



Choose your Thoughts

Observe how you are feeling. For example if you are angry, you will be thinking angry thoughts. Recognise this as just your subconscious mind in action, not who you really are. Choose to be happy for example. Happiness is your natural state, your true self.

Support Yourself

Meditation is one of the best tools I know of to tap into how you really feel and to make your mind your friend. Meditating will help you go beyond any of your conditioning: your anger, sadness or hurt for example and discover the self-love that always lies beneath.

To find a comprehensive guide on: How to Meditate see:

It is easy to feel stressed and overwhelmed in todays busy world, yet by learning to work with your mind, by making your mind your friend, you can learn to experience your life in a new and exciting way. You can be in exactly the same situation and rather than stressed, you will feel calm and centred, because your mind is supporting you, not working against you. Another possibility is that you may find that when your mind is peaceful and calm, rather than feeling stressed. you will find yourself in new and positive situations, because when your energy changes you will attract new experiences into your life.

Making your mind your friend does take time and energy as you are likely to be learning a new school. However just like exercising to get fit, it does take effort, but the rewards are so worth it as you feel more vital an energetic. I can assure you that making your mind your friend is one of the greatest gifts you can ever give yourself, as the positive energy that you will radiate as a result, will positively effect all areas of your life. 

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