How to Get What You Want in Life!

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The Author
Anne McKeown
This verified expert offers personal coaching services
Posted on Feb 22

Have you ever felt jealous of someone who seems to get what she wants in life with ease? I used to feel like that until I learned that their rewards were the result of 4 constant practices: intention, belief, vision and action. Once I introduced these into my own life, I started to get what I wanted too. Let me share how with you…

Begin by giving yourself an intention, this could be something that you really want to do, or discover, or have. Take a moment and write it down.

When it comes to making your dream a reality using your human senses is critical. The mind understands what we want through the signals we send it, and we use our five senses to communicate our desires.  The more detailed the picture of what you want, the more chance you have of achieving it. These details will alert your Reticular Activation System, a part of the brain which seeks to find what we ask for. For example, if you want a new house, let your mind help make it a reality by seeing an actual picture of this house, maybe from a real estate magazine. Imagine yourself sitting in this house, are you on the sofa or a chair? Is the sofa leather or soft velvet? What colour is it? Be aware of how you feel (excited, privileged). Where do you notice this feeling in your body? Give this feeling a shape. Who is with you in this picture? What are they saying? What else can you hear? Perhaps children’s laughter coming from the upstairs bedroom? Can you smell anything (fresh paint, flowers from the garden)? Imagine tasting champagne as you celebrate with friends, or your first cup of coffee in your new kitchen. Visualise running your hand across the beautiful wooden staircase, it feels warm and solid. The more detail you go into the more vivid the picture will be and the stronger your subconscious mind will do all it can to make this dream a reality. 

Personal belief plays a huge part in the process of achieving what you want in life. Years ago, I visited Africa as a volunteer. One afternoon, I was invited to join the locals in a rain dance. They were literally going to dance until it rained, even if that meant dancing for 12 hours or more. I thought this to be a bit ridiculous but decided to just go with it. I loved the music (banging on old tin drums), the high-pitched singing and the shuffling of dusty soil under my feet, but after about 3 hours, I felt exhausted and did not for one minute believe it would rain. To rest, I sat on a rock next to an old man. His belief in the rain dance bringing floods of water was unshakable—how did I know that? He was carrying an umbrella! Without belief your dreams will result in disappointment. 

All desires should be balanced and ecological. By this I mean, not damaging to another person or thing. When you ask yourself the question, “what do I want/need from the world?” Remember to also ask, “what does the world want/need from me?”  It is important to mention that I am not promoting selfishness, which is getting what you want regardless of others, but instead I am interested in helping you achieve self-interest which builds positive possibility for yourself and those around you.

Action is vital. Once the mind knows what you want, it needs an action plan to help achieve it. For example, if you want to win the lottery—you have to buy a ticket. Just imagining a win is not enough. The action required means earning enough money to afford the ticket, going to the shop to purchase the ticket, making sure you don’t lose the ticket, checking the results on the correct night and contacting the organisation to claim your prize.

Some people may do all of the above and still not get what they want in life. Why? Because they haven’t shifted the things that are holding them back. What stops you from getting what you really want in life? Here are a few things I’ve recognised in myself and others: 

  1. Often disappointment or regret about the way things currently are, holds us back. When we learn to let go of our negative mindset, we free ourselves to imagine big and achieve big.  We do this by being grateful for whatever life has presented to us in this moment, even if you don’t feel grateful.  Having a gratitude journal that you write in is great for this.

  2. Sometimes confusion over what we really want causes us to stop reaping goodness. Without realising it you may be sending out mixed messages about what you really want and why you want it.  Sometimes full of gusto and other times unsure. This confusion leads to staying stuck.

  3. Negative self-talk kills dreams, so be careful what you say to yourself. Are you aware of what you say to yourself when something is missing? “I don’t deserve it,” “I’ll never win,” “I’m too old/fat/stupid etc…”. These statements are all very destructive because the mind believes what it hears. Words have incredible power, so use them wisely. Keep your vocabulary positive and clear. As soon as you become aware of any negative self-talk—stop yourself immediately and change tact. (You can do this by snapping a rubber band lightly on your wrist. This slight physical pain brings the conscious mind to the forefront and stops the unconscious mind from running an unruly monologue.)

 

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