Estimated reading time: 3 minutes
The journey to consciousness begins by keeping it real, firstly with ourselves. Everything starts and ends with the self. When we truly know ourselves, we will be more in tune with others, because how we see others is usually a reflection of ourselves. When we have a conflict with others, often it is a disowned part of ourselves resurfacing for healing. Sometimes we get tangled up in relationships that genuinely are not good for us. Being conscious in relationships is all about being able to make healthy choices.
When we do have an interaction with someone, be it our romantic partner, relation, friend or work colleague, we have to be able to distinguish how we feel about it. We need to know what is going on for us internally. Learning to tune into the subtle energy of our body, also known as our intuition, is key in keeping ourselves safe in relationships. Our body is our personal lie detector.
We can trick ourselves by choosing not to listen to our body. This is of course until the messages get louder and louder regarding signals that can culminate in disease if we are still not listening. It is then that we are forced to listen, as the body is preventing us from functioning until we do.
Alternatively, we can learn to tune into the body when signals are small. For example, after a disagreement with our partner, observing our emotions can give us lots of useful information. We may feel hurt, even deep hurt, disproportionate to the event. Yet simple processes can help us to heal this pain. The truth is simple.
The first thing you need to do is take some space if possible—otherwise, this process can be done on the go—at your office desk or while walking. If you have some quiet time to yourself while meditating, for example, it can facilitate your focus in going deeper.
Allow the feeling of hurt to exist. Validate it exactly as it is. You are not trying to make it do anything. To see it as good or bad or to try to make it “go away”. You are just “being” with the hurt in a non-judgemental, compassionate way. Observing it with your loving presence will allow it to dissipate and pass through your energetic state, allowing you to feel peaceful once again.
This process is so simple, yet we live in a society where it is epidemic to do anything rather than be still and feel!! People drink, smoke, take drugs, overspend, overwork, anything rather than confront their emotions. However, when we “keep it real,” we allow ourselves to be as we are and we can return to our natural, divine loving state.
None of us want to feel pain so we push against it, creating further resistance and pain. The pain then gets stuck in our energy system, and over a long period it’s possible that it may convert into physical pain. When we experience pain, our bodies are asking us to wake up and take notice of our emotions. When we accept our pain, our feelings start to flow again, allowing us to engage in life in a full and fearless way.
All of our emotions are acceptable, including our hurt, anger, resentment and sadness. Our judgement of them is what makes them “wrong” and creates our pain. Loving presence, kindness and compassion, even towards the parts of ourselves we may prefer to avoid, allows our lives to flow with ease and grace.
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