To get what we really want requires being conscious of our choices and acting with intention instead of being dictated by our unconscious motives. For example, think of a significant life choice you made. Was it made purposefully or impulsively? Did it turn out as you expected? If not, what could you have changed about your choice next time? Are you willing to examine your choices before you act?
Can we Plan too Much?
We have a plan for life but sometimes, life has a different plan for us ~ Saji Ijiyemi
We make countless choices every day, but are we making them based on a deeper intention or are they knee-jerk reactions? This is an important part of making better life choices: delaying gratification and choosing what is likely to benefit us in the future.
We don’t need to plan our life to get what we really want because planning doesn’t always work due to unforeseen circumstances. Unexpected conditions may arise, so the key is not to be fixed on our plans for the future but to know the direction we wish our life to follow. It is my experience coaching clients over the years, as well as my own observations, that life rarely unfolds according to plan. In fact, looking back, many of my plans didn’t work out as expected. I don’t have a problem with that because my life has unfolded better than I could have imagined.
Therefore, we ought to go with the flow instead of being fixed on a plan for our life. This means adapting to what takes place and developing the mental and emotional resiliency to cope with what shows up. I admit this takes a lot of practice to not be dictated by external events. But what is the rush, if we repeatedly make less than desirable choices?
This way of thinking helps us be adaptable when we face situations out of our control. Similarly, we needn’t like what is taking place but we can learn to accept there may be a greater lesson contained within the experience. There might be a greater plan unfolding in the backdrop of our lives, while the pieces of the puzzle are still forming. Are you comfortable with this idea so far? Can you see by looking back on your life, what was an unexpected event that turned out to be valuable to you?
When Life is Lacking Spontaneity
Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit. ~ E. E. Cummings
Planning the details of our life removes the spontaneity of life because we expect the trajectory of our life to follow the past. But what if we had a difficult past filled with pain and regret? We might expect the future to be the same, but it is not always the case. I have coached remarkable people over the years who overcame great difficulties and transformed their life beyond their wildest dreams. They were willing to heal their past and step into a new future without their pain accompanying them. It is possible for you to do the same. It requires a willingness to leave behind what is not working and move forward with bold intention.
Sometimes, the best things that happen to us take place when we are unprepared. This is because uncertainty is the foundation of adventure and personal growth. After all, we can only plan life to a certain degree and trust it will unfold accordingly. But sometimes it may take an unforeseen turn, which may be the best thing to happen to us. What I’m saying: We don’t know what awaits us in the future until we take a leap of faith and move forward with boldness and courage.
Equally, good things can happen to us we never expect. I’ve written in earlier articles and books about my life-changing transformation early in my life. After graduating from university with a B.A. in Fashion Design, I pursued a different career in writing and speaking about self-empowerment. I felt a powerful call from my soul to move into this area over a period. Initially, I resisted because of family pressure, who thought I was crazy to abandon a successful career. Although I didn’t understand what I was getting myself into, I trusted what I was leaving behind was less significant than what I was stepping into. The power of being led by my heart’s deepest desire outweighed a career I was merely satisfied with.
Trust in Unexpected Miracles
I am realistic—I expect miracles. ~ Wayne Dyer
Think about this in your own life. Have you experienced a chance encounter with a person who later became your significant other? Perhaps it was a business partner or an important personal or professional relationship? In hindsight, could you have foreseen such an event would take place?
Therefore, we must allow room for miracles and surprises, because this is how life will reveal itself in ways we never expected. I didn’t expect to be speaking on stage in front of hundreds of people, given my background as a fashion designer. But I took a chance and believed in life, even though I couldn’t see evidence of it. I took a chance on myself and trusted life would not let me down. I’m now inviting you to trust in unexpected miracles in your life. We must allow life to reveal itself through us, by being receptive to new experiences instead of talking ourselves out of it.
Knowing this, I invite you to write a list of three areas where you are constantly planning things out. Is it in your career, finances, health, or relationships? Are you willing to be more open to new experiences in these areas? Could you allow space for unexpected blessings, even if it’s 5%? Do you need to think differently? Perhaps it involves less planning and more trust. You might have to experiment to find what works for you.
I assure you, implementing the smallest change, whether it be a change in your thinking or actions, can improve your life in big ways. Note how you feel when making these changes. It may seem scary at first but if you keep a journal, write about your experiences, so you can look back and see how far you’ve come. After all, we needn’t plan our life in detail to get what we really want because getting what we want comes from choices we never knew we had to make until it is time.
To learn more about harnessing success in all areas of life see: How to Create a Purposeful Vision for Success