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We all see life from our unique perspectives and this is what makes life so interesting. When it comes to men and women, however, these differences (unless understood so we can act wisely), can be just plain infuriating. In a relationship, the more relaxed and openhearted we feel, the greater the connection: the joy and love that we can experience together. The more open our hearts are, the greater the level of intimacy we can feel.
Many of us do not allow ourselves to experience joy and love to the fullest extent, because of our past hurts and conditioning. Our past may have taught us to shut down or close our hearts to some degree. This is a self-defence mechanism to stop further hurt; however, to have a fully evolved relationship, we have to learn to go beyond this, as putting up walls also limits our ability to give and receive love.
We know when our heart is fully open we will feel vibrant, glowing and light-filled. Life flows and seems effortless for us; we feel unstoppable. If we don’t feel like this, that is a sign to us that we have inner work to do to open our hearts. The rewards of love, connection and bliss are certainly worth it!
Ways to open our hearts in relationship include:
- Give each other space if required after any reactions to process unresolved emotions.
- Give each other time if needed just to be.
- Support each other in expressing gifts and talents, for example; my husband gave me time to come away to write a book.
- Forgive yourself and others, when we slip back into old patterns and unintended behaviours. The process of expanding our awareness takes time, just as it takes time to learn the piano. Large doses of understanding and compassion towards others and ourselves supports this process.
- Make the space we share a sanctuary, our utopia, whether we own or rent our home/apartment. It’s possible to create a warm space, surrounded by the things we love.
- Communicate openly and honestly; as these are the foundations of creating a supportive, trusting relationship where partners flourish.
- Share activities that you both enjoy. For example, my husband and I love home decorating, choosing furniture, and creating warm and inviting spaces. However, it could be anything you enjoy doing together such as sport, meditating, gardening, parenting, walks or swimming. It doesn’t matter what it is any as long as you both enjoy it. Regular, shared times will do wonders for your relationship.
My husband and I go for a swim in the ocean and share time together at a café every morning. Not only is this fun, but also we get to chat about things in a relaxed way as they occur. It keeps nice open communication flowing and creates a lovely connection. It is important not to underestimate the value of spending time together when creating a warm and meaningful relationship.
In parallel with things that we can do with our partners to open our hearts and feel more connected, men and women have needs that are specific to them in creating a safe environment. In the next two weeks posts, we are specifically going to explore these differences. Stay tuned! Understanding this can help us to work with rather than against each other!
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