Creating Emotional Stability is one of our most popular posts here at Blisspot! We all have emotions and it can be common to feel “out of control” when our emotions seem to automatically take over. Emotions, of themselves, are not a problem, in fact they are a gift to teach you more about yourself. The problem is when you act out of them in a way that hurts others that you may later regret.
Much emphasis in the education system is on the importance of academics, and more recently creative subjects have also been valued. Whilst developing your intellect and creativity assists in enjoying the fullness of life, balance will be achieved when equal emphasis is placed on emotional development. This is where your true power lies. It is the key to a happy life. It makes sense, as happiness is an emotion in itself .
There is nothing more empowering than feeling emotionally stable regardless of what is going on around you. It means that you have the ability to determine the way you feel, rather than letting external circumstances decide your emotional state.
When you feel calm and stable it allows you to access your intuition and inner wisdom, so that you know what is right for you. When you make decisions from an emotionally unstable state, it can lead to more instability.
It is much better to feel in control of your emotions rather than having them control you. When you feel emotionally unstable, it can effect your career, relationships and how you feel about yourself.
When you feel emotional unstable, it is usually because your survival mechanism has been triggered and you have gone into a fight or flight response. In a fight situation, you attack another so you don’t get hurt. Alternatively in flight, you withdraw from the situation so you don’t get hurt. Whichever reaction you engage in, it will often escalate into an argument because you are using your survival, rather than adult, skills to work through any issues.
The best way to remain “safe” when you are feeling threatened emotionally, is to use your words.
When you speak from a loving place, even about difficult topics, you are more likely to be heard. However, to do this, you may have to clear some of the emotions that are making you feel unstable.
To clear emotional instability:
- Name, accept and validate the emotion you are feeling. eg. Anger
- Breathe into the emotion if it is strong, allowing it to subside
- Tune into your thoughts and if they are not loving and kind, change them to ones that are.
This will change your emotional state to one that is loving and stable. You will feel the shift because you will feel better. From a loving state, talk to the other person about how you are feeling if necessary. When you feel emotionally stable you are more more likely to speak in a way that they can hear you.
It is constructive to have the intent to develop a win/win situation. When you develop a win/win outcome, there is balance, which means your relationships, business or career for example, can last for long periods of time because everyone is happy.
Feeling emotionally stable consistently will flow in positively into all areas of your life. Conflict or misunderstanding, that is worked through until all parties feel at peace, can bring you closer together than you were before.
Seeing and understanding are the way to love and compassion
~ Buddhist saying
Becoming aware of your emotions and making choices around them is what will allow you to feel empowered and in control of your internal state. When you are loving and calm within, this is what you will experience on a more consistent basis in your outer world. As within, so without. Usually you are unable to control external events, although you can certainly inspire and influence others through your behaviours. The one thing you do have the ability to do is master is your internal world, including your emotions, and that is what’s truly empowering.