Take Control of Your Life

woman wearing back bag facing backward stands in forest
by Deborah Fairfull

Estimated reading time: 5 minutes

There is a lot of tension and unrest in our world today. Global politics, financial and humanitarian issues can leave us feeling powerless to create the world we want to live in. Combined with personal struggles in areas such as health, career and relationships it is common to feel stressed, overwhelmed, anxious and depressed.

Observing and focusing on the world’s greater problems can leave you feeling powerless. The good news is, the one thing you have complete control over and can master is your inner world. When you engage in life in a conscious way, that is, with awareness of your thoughts and feelings, your challenges will usually improve. Ultimately when there is enough critical mass, the world will be peaceful and stable.

When you are personally struggling, or in pain, it can be a sign your ego is in charge. When you feel loving towards yourself and others, you are connected to your loving nature. When you recognise and shine love on your ego, you will begin to transcend mental suffering. When you no longer choose to judge your ego, you can begin to dissolve its power and operate your life from a loving foundation.


When you oppose your ego, you maintain its power. This is in agreement with Newton’s third law of motion: every action has an equal and opposite reaction. When you accept your ego, you can integrate it into your psyche. You will feel more peaceful as you will have diffused the internal battle. The ego was established to keep you safe; however, it is fear based rather than loving.

You can choose to embrace your ego, transcend it, and operate from love rather than fear. It can be humbling yet empowering to recognise that the faults you perceive in others are often aspects of yourself that have come up for healing. Once you own your experience and recognise that it is trying to teach you something about yourself, you can begin to transcend the ego.

Take control:

1. Personally. When you’re taken from your peace, lovingly recognise it is your ego at work. For example, when you find yourself in pain, feeling angry or guilty, lovingly recognise that this is not who you are, but instead your ego at work. Focus on your breath and even the smallest bit of stillness you can find within. Maintain your focus on breath and stillness as much as you can. If feelings and thoughts arise, validate and accept them and they will pass. Hand the problem over to your loving self, your intuition, or God (however you choose to see it); and this place of wisdom will guide you back to peace.

Once you accept the duality within yourself (both good and painful feelings, such as happiness and anger), you transcend labelling certain parts of yourself as right or wrong. This process is an integral part of loving yourself, just as you are. The flow on effect is that you will accept and love others, as they are. You cannot transcend pain by pretending it does not exist. Acknowledging and accepting any pain can be used as alchemy to evolve to a more loving and peaceful way of being. Look for solutions to any challenges, when you feel calm and centred, rather than when acting out in fear.

2. Interpersonally. When you accept others as they are, you create loving relationships, rather than ones based on fear and judgement. When you see faults in others, it is a sign you are seeing them from the perspective of the ego. When your ego is not involved, you see others as the loving individuals they are. You can learn to relate to people beyond judgement and defence. In conflict, it is possible to rise above blame and seeing problems as the other person’s fault. Learning new skills to appreciate and respect difference builds stronger, more loving and diverse relationships. Everyone experiences the world in an individual way, and it is respectful to let others experience the world their way.

Successful Man

Ego would have us think that you are right and that others who think like you are right. When you view people through the eyes of love, you are genuinely interested and respect others unique perspective—you are more open. When you are non-judgemental, people are more comfortable to be themselves around you.

It is difficult for people to grow and transcend behaviours while they are being judged and criticised. Even a hardened criminal, shown deep love and respect (something they may never have experienced in their entire life) has the potential for transformation. As you learn to relate to others lovingly, you can transcend the energy of the ego.

3. Globally. A major shift will occur globally when love replaces the controlling nature of the ego. When we accept that ego has been instrumental in creating all violence, wars, and poverty, we make positive, lasting changes toward a more loving world. Judgement, striving to win at the expense of others, racial, cultural, and religious differences, have all been major sources of suffering.

When we stop seeing challenging situations as something out there, beyond our control, we will be able to affect change. When we collectively take responsibility for the state of the world as it is, we can transcend the energy of the ego. We can be loving individuals, engaged in loving relationships that in turn will have a flow-on effect in creating a world of peace.

When we operate from love, we create loving relationships, communities, and nations. When we embody love, it will become the predominant energy of our planet, and our world will transform into one of peace, love, and harmony.

Transform your life to one of peace and happiness.

Discover the path to peace and happiness with Deborah’s course, here.

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