Stop Forcing Things to Happen and Relax into the Knowing

young woman sits alone in office smiles looks outside window
by Tony Fahkry

It’s Already Happening for you Behind the Scenes

“Life is a battlefield of broken dreams and pieced-together victories.” ~ Terri Guillemets

What are you trying to make happen in your life right now? Is it a relationship you’re hoping will develop into something more, or a business venture?

Whatever it is, I want you to get a sense of the emotions felt when you think about the situation. I’m not denying what you feel, but I’d like to help you explore another way to get what you want without forcing it to happen. You probably know that forcing things to happen seldom works out. In fact, the more we push and strive, the less it happens for us. Many people give up at this point and turn their attention to something else, which is when their desires manifest.

Can you identify with this?

I have a fond memory of this experience in my 20s, following my graduation from design school. I completed a Bachelor of Arts in Fashion and was keen to work for a particular luxury fashion house in my state. I sent repeated letters, enquiring about a potential career within the organisation, yet nothing came of it. This went on for two years, and eventually I grew despondent and stopped pursuing it. Within the space of six months, I received a letter from the marketing manager, saying she had kept my letters on file and there was a position opening up that would suit me. She invited me in for an interview and I immediately got the position! I couldn’t believe my luck because I was adamant that if I did nothing to chase this opportunity, it wouldn’t eventuate. Earlier on, I was trying too hard to force things to happen, which worked against me.

Trust in Life Course

Whilst I realise it’s difficult to put into practice, we must learn to relax about how life develops. Chasing and striving are signs of desperation because it communicates an energy of lack.

What I’m saying is: it’s already happening for you behind the scenes, when you allow yourself to relax. Life is an intricate system, with millions of processes taking place beyond our senses. Sometimes, when nothing is happening, it is because there’s a hive of activity occurring behind the scenes. So, when things go quiet in my life, I get excited because I know the universe is planning something wonderful. Think of a chef working in the kitchen without a sound and then suddenly, they come up with an exquisite meal in no time.

Coming from a Place of Non-Resistance and Trust

“Life is like sailing. You can use any wind to go in any direction.” ~ Robert Brault

The universe functions according to its own framework, which can be likened to an intricate web, governed by universal laws. When we assume things aren’t working out, we are not seeing the entire picture unfolding in the backdrop of our lives.

With this in mind, are you content to relax and know it’s already happening for you? Could you allow yourself to drop into this knowing and trust you are taken care of?

I know it’s difficult to believe when you don’t see things happening in your physical world. But I’m inviting you to trust the process because when we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change. Life takes on a new perspective because our old paradigms are not working.

This is what Albert Einstein meant when he said: “We cannot solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them in the first place.” We must develop a new consciousness in which to overcome our problems.

Trust in Life Course

A carpenter cannot build a house using kitchen utensils. I know I’m stating the obvious here, but they must use the correct tools and building practices to assemble a home that complies with building regulations. The same is true for bringing to life our deepest desires. The tools of our trade are our thoughts and emotions, which means learning to collaborate with harness them into our desires.

So how does this practice work in actual life because I get asked this question often by coaching clients?

It involves the art of detachment, meaning separating our desires from wanting them to happen a certain way. We become less invested whether or not they happen because we trust the universe to bring us what we need according to its timeline, not ours.

The psychiatrist and consciousness researcher Dr David Hawkins captures this idea in his book Letting Go where he writes: “In a freer state, that which is chosen manifests in our life effortlessly. We surrender the emotion of desire and, instead, merely choose the goal, picture it lovingly, and allow it to happen because we see that it is already ours.”

Operating from a place of non-resistance is a wonderful way to live because we allow life to unfold as it should, instead of pushing for it to happen. Therefore, your romantic interest requires detaching yourself from an intended outcome and relax into the knowing that whether the relationship develops, it is fine either way. 

“This is when your life will soar because things will happen for you when you come from a place of non-resistance and trust.”

We can summarise this principle in the following way: Trust = Love.

So, we ought to trust and have faith life is already happening for us, but not in the way we expect. Knowing this, as a journal prompt, list three areas of your life where you are trying too hard? Could you learn to trust things will work out for your highest good, even if it doesn’t look that way now?

Life is functioning exactly as it should and will bring us what we desire, as long as we align our thoughts with universal intent. It is when you recognise life is already happening for you that everything you need will arrive beyond your wildest dreams.

To learn more about trusting in life see: How to Trust the Process in Life

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