Tonight while meditating, I starting thinking about some of the great things that I have done. (That’s not to say that age 55, that I haven’t done my fair share of terrible things as well.) But I was thinking of things like overcoming the odds, saving lives, making lots of money and marrying the most beautiful woman in the world. While those are impressive, I came to the conclusion that the greatest thing I’ve ever done, was making peace with the unfair. Let me explain.
I have long since engaged in meditation. I’ve been very good at detachment. It is next to impossible to take me out of my Zen-ness. (My word for being Zen). Being at peace with the things that are unfair, has literally added years to my life. That, I am convinced of. Having the ability to simply move on has been freeing. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t idly sit by when I see an injustice. I do however, accept that life can and will be unfair a great many times. And I’m cool with that. That person that I am today, rose from the very ashes that burned my life down.
There are 5 stages to grief and loss: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Maybe because I was a crisis counselor for 20 years, or maybe it’s because I’ve been meditating the majority of my life, but I have always been pretty good at moving through the 5 stages in rapid speed. It’s not that I’m trying to circumnavigate these feelings. I think I just conditioned myself to the fact that life is beautiful, despite at times being unjust. I love the following proverb:
Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like. ~ Lao Tzu
Holding onto the things that are unfair, only increases their power. Acceptance diminishes it. There is a peace that comes from being at peace with all that is unfair. It makes you look at things in a different light. You begin to honor what is really important. I cannot stress this enough. All that we take with us, is all that we hold onto. I hold onto love. I hold onto peace. Do I sometimes let the unfairness of the world get to me? Sure, it happens. But you can believe that I drop it like a hot coal because I understand this one principle:
You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger. ~ Buddha
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