Given a choice, most of us would want to feel calm, secure and peaceful, regardless of the many challenges that life can throw at us. It is usual that life will throw at us certain situations that take us away from feeling centred, giving us the opportunity to develop the skills of self-assuredness in most situations. Our sense of security can be determined by what other people think of us, but more importantly by our perception of ourselves. Learn how to feel secure, regardless of what is happening in the world around you.
Step-by-step guide to feeling secure:
- Recognise that true security comes from within!
- Think self-affirming thoughts about yourself and your body, as our thoughts create our reality. What we think and consequently feel, is what life will reflect back to us. When you truly think loving thoughts towards yourself and feel love within, love is what will be reflected back to you from the external world. Consciously think thoughts such as, “I am valuable and worthy of warm and loving relationships”, and that is most likely how your relationships will be.
- Trusting yourself is essential in feeling secure. When you trust yourself and consequently your instincts, you are more likely to trust the people who will support you in a happy life.
- Look within to find out what is really going on for you. Insecurities may come from past family issues or traumas that can create an underlying feeling of not feeling safe. If so, healing these issues to recognise that this is a different time and in your current reality, you are actually safe, may be necessary to feel secure (if the feelings are very strong or overwhelming it may be wise to work with a professional therapist).
- Follow your passions. When you are able to tap into the passion within yourself rather than relying on other people to make you happy, it helps you to feel secure. Relying on others to make you happy creates a lot of pressure. Ideally, we are happy within ourselves, and the joy we experience with others is just a bonus.
- Recognise that no-one is perfect and no-one is going to fulfil all your needs perfectly. We all have light and shadow, good and bad, perfect and imperfect. We are all human with our patterns of behaviour based on our conditioning. When we accept others as they are, we accept ourselves as we are. This more relaxed attitude assists us in feeling happier and more secure.
- Be kind, gentle and compassionate with yourself, particularly those parts of yourself that you would prefer were different. Instead of judging yourself, it is your compassion and kindness that will allow you to integrate those parts of yourself that may have caused pain or stress in your life, and evolve and transform into the person who you want to be.
- Remind yourself when feeling insecure that, “you are not your story”. The truth is that; your essence is divine and magnificent. When you recognise and feel that, others will too.
Tip: Engage in healthy relationships and put boundaries in place if others undermine your sense of security. People often treat you the way you let them.