How to Feel Loved Everyday

heart symbol on sand beside blue ocean in sunset sky
by Vance Larson

Happy Valentines Day! Well, for many, not so much. I like to remind my clients that the celebration of love should be an everyday thing.

The tradition of Valentines Day actually started in year 496. It is thought to be both a Roman and Christian tradition. Over the course of time it has indeed become commercialized. That being said, the acknowledgment of love is a sacred act. Where so many of my clients drift off course is, because they wait until this one day {metaphorically speaking} to make their loved one feel special. And that’s what lands them in my office.

You can live under the same roof and still feel like you’re a million miles away

Those are the words that I often discuss with my clients. I hear complaints such as “We go out, but we spend more time looking at our phones than talking to each other.” Or, “We never take the time to talk anymore, let alone enjoy a physical connection”. It’s no wonder why divorce is up and intimacy is down. It’s like we’re not even trying to make our spouses feel special. Once we get “the got”, the intimacy starts to fade.

This day of the celebration of love, can be an important reminder to foster our relationship.

Loving Couple

3 simple things to feel loved are:

  1. Get off the phone. While the phone has become a way of life for us, we are spending way too much time on them. (One statistic I saw said we average checking our phones over 800 times a day). When you’re with your significant other, put the phone down and just enjoy their company. Remember the days when you first starting dating? Chances are your phone use was limited when together.
  2. Make time for real conversations. Not only will you be validating your relationship, you are actually preventing future problems. Everyone is talking and very few are listening. Trust me that in as little as 30 minutes a week of no distraction, listening/building intimacy can change the trajectory of your relationship. If you double or triple that time, you’ll see and create a new relationship.
  3. Stop talking and start hugging and kissing. I have provided services for many couples, and you would be surprised at how many of them are lost on the art of touch. There are studies to support the benefits of the power of touch. And while it is true that some are not the “touchy feely” type, if you honor the first two steps, your relationship should continue to grow

So happy Valentines Day. Start a new tradition this year. Make your “Love”, feel loved everyday.

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