Learn to practice awareness of intent, to move out of your painful feelings and into your inner peace.
Those of you who have been practising Inner Bonding know that the basis of the Inner Bonding process is the intent to learn about loving yourself and others.
It is the intent to learn that moves you out of your left-brain wounded ego self and into the connection with your right brain so you can connect with your essence and Spirit. Choosing the intent to learn is the bridge from the left brain to the right, from our programmed thinking to our ability to access truth, love, compassion, and joy.
Remembering to Learn
We all have the ability to choose to learn at any moment. One of the challenges with making this choice is that the wounded self doesn’t want you to make this choice. The moment you truly choose to learn about loving yourself, the wounded self is temporarily off-line and no longer in charge. The choice to open to learning about loving yourself and connecting with your guidance is what creates the loving adult, and in those moments when the loving adult is in charge, the wounded self is not operating.
Since the wounded self is afraid to be off-line, it does all it can to make you forget to choose the intent to learn!
While it is not hard to choose to learn and grow, it is hard to REMEMBER to make this choice, because of the fear of the wounded self. It wants you to continue going to your automatic, unconscious choice to protect/control – the choice we all learned when we were very young.
Therefore, it takes awareness to move into the intent to learn. It takes vigilance to be aware and present enough to consciously choose your intent rather than allow your wounded self to automatically take over.
How To Remember?
This is the challenging part. How do you remember to stay open to learning when your wounded self is determined to stay in charge?
The answer lies in Step One of Inner Bonding – being present and aware of your feelings. Your feelings are always instantly letting you know your intent. When you feel scared, alone, anxious, depressed, stressed, angry, hurt, empty, jealous and so on, you know that your wounded self is in charge. Your wounded self is thinking thoughts and taking actions that are causing these painful feelings.
What Do You Believe About Your Painful Feelings?
One of the problems with staying in Step One is that the wounded self generally has false beliefs about painful feelings, such as, “It’s wrong to have these feelings,” or “There is nothing I can do about these feelings so it is best to ignore them,” or “I can’t handle these feelings,” or “I’m not the cause of these feelings – they are coming from people, events, or the past.”
If you have these beliefs, then you are likely doing all you can to avoid feeling your feelings – ignoring them, numbing them out with various addictions, judging yourself for them, and/or making others responsible for them.
The truth is that these painful feelings are valuable INFORMATION that you are in your wounded self, thinking thoughts and taking actions that are not loving to you, not in your highest good, and not coming from a Source of truth.
When you are willing to feel your feelings – and choose to take 100% responsibility for them – you will then move into the intent to learn. Therefore, awareness of intent and awareness of feelings go hand in hand. Your painful wounded feelings let you know that you are in the intent to avoid/control. This knowledge gives you the choice to change your intent to learning about loving yourself. The moment you shift your intent, you will actually start to feel better, because even just choosing the intent to learn moves you out of your wounded self and into your loving adult.
All of this takes a lot of practice. I hope you all start to practice and then keep practising, the Inner Bonding process!