The Bliss Blog

Why we Must Integrate Ourselves to Heal

in Stress
The Author
Tony Fahkry
This verified expert offers personal coaching services
Posted on Feb 26

Nurture the deepest part of your core nature

The soul always knows what to do to heal itself. The challenge is to silence the mind. ~ Caroline Myss

Healing involves integrating our fragmented parts into the entirety of our being. However, the paradox is: we are not broken but merely disassociated from our wholeness. The term healing denotes restoring what is not functioning as it is intended. When we are caught up in the distorted beliefs about ourselves, it leads to separation or what we consider being broken. In fact, it is merely being separated from the completeness of our true nature. Think in terms of a hologram where the whole is contained in every part. This was an idea espoused by the late theoretical physicist David Bohm who believed the universe is a solid and brilliant hologram. He recognised how each part of our physical reality contained information about the whole. Therefore, our thoughts, emotions, soul and physical body are composed of our soul nature.

How does this idea appeal to you? Are you comfortable knowing whilst you were born whole and pure, through your beliefs, thoughts and experiences it leads to separation? I’m not suggesting it is entirely your fault because we are all bound to experience this. It is said, while our painful experiences are not our fault, healing the pain is our responsibility. Although there’s an element of truth to it, we ought to remember there is nothing to heal other than to attend to our unconscious memories in order to return to wholeness. By attending to these aspects, we integrate our known sense of separateness. Release and Renew is a mantra I often repeat in my writing when I discuss healing and emotions. In doing so, we release that which is not conducive to the present moment. Similarly, we renew our commitment to nurture ourselves by connecting with our core emotions. The integration I speak of is an association with our soul nature, which at its essence is pure, whole and knows nothing of separateness or brokenness. It is the egoic mind which disconnects us from our spiritual self to create two identities i.e. the darkness and the light.

 

How to heal your fragmented parts

I have been a seeker and I still am, but I stopped asking the books and the stars. I started listening to the teaching of my Soul. ~ Rumi

I am drawn to a passage by the South African author Michael Brown, who writes in The Presence Process: “I dropped my use of the word “heal” because of its connotation that something was wrong and had to be fixed. Instead, I began using the word “integrate,” which to me meant there was a part of my experience that was unconscious—a part of my experience that I resisted, controlled, and sedated—which was asking to be incorporated into the whole. Whereas healing felt like I was excluding something from my experience, integration felt like I was embracing everything I experienced.” I believe Brown makes two important points here: we mustn’t resist nor control the past, but perceive them as the whole of our life’s experience. Second, integration means to embrace or at the very least acknowledge everything that happened to us. Perhaps not right away, but when we are ready to make peace with the past. 

What are your thoughts about this? I realise you may have questions related to your personal experiences. Whilst I am not present to answer them, I assure you trying to make sense of them consciously is a healing process rather than an integration process. It is what author Dr. Mario Martinez means when he writes in The MindBody Code: How to Change the Beliefs that Limit Your Health, Longevity, and Success: “The true agents of change are elevated cognitions and exalted emotions. These agents of change provide sustained transformation; in fact, they have triumphed over the greatest infamies and darkest periods in our human journey.” It does little good to dwell on why the past took place as it did. Instead, we ought to turn the tables and consider the following questions as a basis for self-enquiry. Instead of trying to make sense of the past which keeps us trapped replaying painful memories, we identify how the experiences served us.  

  1. How can I use the past to facilitate my greater growth?
  2. In what ways can I use my emotional wounds to bring peace and love to the part of me that is pure and whole?
  3. How can I integrate my sense of separateness into the wholeness of my being?
  4. Whom do I need to become and let go of to achieve this inner state?

Once we can perceive the pain of the past through the lens of: compassion, forgiveness, peace and love we heal our fragmented parts. It may involve deep exploration into ourselves with or without the guidance of a trained therapist. Considering this, I’d like you to spend the following week journaling your answers to the four questions above. Call it a remote coaching session if you like. Write what comes to mind even if it involves images or symbols. Similarly, pay attention to your dreams via the symbols that appear. Note how you feel within the dream and upon waking. Look for messages in your waking life in the form of people, places and situations that cause you unrest. This is your soul guiding you towards integration. Ultimately, to heal ourselves we must be willing to integrate the pain of the past, so healing happens naturally as nature intended it to.

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