The Bliss Blog

How to Find Acceptance

in Overcoming Stress
The Author
Deborah Fairfull
This verified expert offers personal coaching services
Posted on July 7, 2016

Estimated reading time: 4 minutes

It is reasonably common knowledge that acceptance of situations, allowing us to flow with life rather than working against it, is the key to happiness. Resistance to what is creates Pain and suffering. Often we know it as an intellectual concept, rather than feeling it at an experiential level. Self-acceptance is an important step on our journey to bliss. When we don’t accept ourselves as we are, we falsely believe we are not good enough or that we are something other than love. These beliefs separate us from our true divine, loving nature; they overshadow the love that we are. We are already perfect. The journey to ourselves is about changing our perception so that we feel the goodness within, rather than just understanding it as an intellectual concept.

I have learned that when I truly accept myself (rather than thinking something is wrong with me), I feel lighter, happier, and more blissful. Can you ever remember having a conversation with someone and they seemed to get you? They seemed to be on your wavelength, and you felt understood. When we begin to get ourselves—we learn to appreciate ourselves regardless of external circumstances. We understand we have a light and a shadow side. To accept both our light and shadow helps us to be more loving towards ourselves. From this place of acceptance, we can then develop skills to change our behaviours if we want to.

Sometimes we may not know the answers to questions, feel confused, and as though our life is in chaos. Accepting that we don’t know everything right now and having faith that the answer will come at the right time, allows us to flow with life rather than push against it. Accepting that we are grieving, sad, or angry helps us to stay in tune with our feelings and lets them flow and be processed in a natural way. Observing our feelings with love, rather than letting the emotion control us, is the key to emotional stability.

We don’t need to try hard or work hard on ourselves; that just creates unnecessary pressure and is exhausting. When things happen in your life, when we accept the situation (and this will be in our timeframe), it helps us to process things naturally. When we resist or push against what is happening, that resistance maintains the stuck energy around it. Acceptance allows us to relax and tune into the appropriate course of action for us. When we relax, it is easier to listen to ourselves with love and find the right path. Even if we later find that we are off course, we can always adjust and modify our actions until it feels right for us. There are no mistakes, only learnings.

Acceptance helps us to transcend and move through circumstances. For example, accepting that we have an ego helps us to make choices around it. When we embrace the ego, we transcend it, allowing us to feel more peaceful and loving. When we do not accept that we have an ego (denial) or fight against it, it maintains its power. What we resist persists! However, when we accept our ego as part of our emotional development, we diffuse its power and the tension it creates. We are then free to develop a new level of emotional stability. When our ego tries to influence us with fearful thoughts, with awareness, we can choose loving ones instead.

We feel more fulfilled when we accept ourselves just as we are. Rather than striving to be good, acceptance allows us to experience the natural goodness of ourselves and others. Accepting the duality of life, our ego and loving side, our shadow and light, our pleasure and pain, and our judgement and non-judgement, helps us to relax. When we relax, we automatically do things from choice rather than from feeling driven and pushed. When we relax, we can access our intuition and wisdom.

When we don’t accept ourselves as we are, we can be left feeling that we are wrong or not good enough in some way. Trying to fix ourselves or someone else comes from a more judgemental view, as something is seen to be wrong in the first place. However, it is possible to change our perspective, to see ourselves and others through the eyes of love.

You will know what divine love is when you begin to feel your oneness with every human being,
not before. 
~ Paramahansa Yogananda

When we see a fault or judge another, we are seeing a fault or judging ourselves in some way—as we are as one. There are no others. The perception of faults in others reminds us of our fragmentation from God, from love, from who we are. They are a gift, a reminder to guide us back on our journey to wholeness. By shining love on any perceived faults with loving acceptance, we will return to our natural loving state. Without resistance towards ourself or others, there is only FLOW. No pressure, just love, peace, joy, and BLISS!

Article by Deborah Fairfull


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