Stop trying to save people. Just love them. They’ll learn to save themselves. People don’t need saving. They need support. With over 3 decades in mental health, I have learned just how powerful this is. Because everyone is talking, and no one is listening. Make eye contact. Clear your mind. Give someone your undivided attention. Just watch how quickly they will heal.
So many of us (yes, I am guilty of this too) listen with the intent to reply, and not to learn. And that’s not listening. That is sales. You’re setting up the conversation to sell your story. Your reply. I think many of us lose sight of that. But here’s the thing. Listening with the intent to hear the other person, creates safety. They will open up completely. They will feel valued. But most importantly, you give them space to release all that toxicity that is holding them down. And when I tapped into this concept many years ago, my practice went from making a living, to making a great living.
Listening without judgement heals broken relationships
The wife and I give back in many ways. We have been through a lot, and know what it is like to be in need. That said, that is not the reason why we do it. We do it because we are simple people. We don’t live a lavish lifestyle. Just two hippies that honor simplicity. By doing so, people just naturally gravitate to us. The reason is calmness. We listen without judgement. We don’t speak ill of others. People respond to that. People heal from that.
Have you ever been in a toxic environment or relationship and finally broke free? Instantaneously you feel better. It’s like you can breathe again. Like the last time you left your broken relationship, you immediately got in shape. You’re happier and your friends want to be around you again. You have confidence, maybe take on a new hobby or get a new job. People heal when you love them. And when they learn to love themselves, that is next level magic.
So what am I saying? Stop trying to save people. You cannot do the work for them. But if you listen and love them, they will save themselves. And that type of currency is magic. And it will be with be with you forever.