Children are naturally joyful, shining lights. Supporting them in an environment of love is the best gift you can give them. You don’t need to provide them with a strong sense of self; they innately possess it. Your job, as a guardian, is to ensure that their sense of self is not interfered with or diminished in any way.
Step-by-step guide:
- Make it your number one priority to provide a safe and happy environment for your child. The more conscious you are as a parent, the more likely you are to understand how your thoughts and feelings affect your behaviour towards your child.
- Do not expect miracles from your child if you are not in a good state yourself. Children are very sensitive to energy. They pick up on your energy constantly and will act out on it if you are not managing it yourself.
- Use physical symptoms to understand your child and support them at a deeper level. For example, if a child regularly has stomach aches, it could be a reflection of his or her emotional state. As it is possible to trap sad, unexpressed emotion, in their body as a stomachache.Physical symptoms relating to emotions include:
• Headaches
• Stomachaches
• Skin disorders
• ADHD
• Anxiety
• Depression
• Asthma
• Colds, influenza
• Bed-wetting - Keep the lines of communication open between you and your child. Open communication does not mean you need to know every single detail about their world. Rather, take an interest and be there for them when they need you—known as space and support. Allow them space, so they have a sense of freedom to be themselves while providing support, so they know you are always there when they need you.
- Take responsibility for your behaviour, say sorry if necessary and teach your child, by example, how to forgive and say sorry in appropriate situations. Humility and forgiveness allow you to maintain loving bonds with each other.
- Don’t hang onto guilt for a prolonged period without changing things, if you can. If you have sorted things out to the best of your ability, stop feeling guilty, knowing that you have made the best choices possible, in a given situation. Guilt only weighs you and those around you down preventing you from being fully present. It is important as much as possible, to stay in the moment and enjoy the time you do have together. Forgiveness is the antidote to guilt, including forgiving yourself for things you have not done as well as you would have liked in the past, and setting realistic standards for yourself.
Tip: Be aware of your attitudes towards your child. Select loving attitudes that support them. For example, replace the thought: “My child is shy and withdrawn,” with, “My child is open and loving.” Your attitude reinforces how a child sees themselves. Cherish your beautiful children!
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