Forgive yourself, for not forgiving them in the past. By doing so, you open up space for healing and creativity. With hate in your heart, you are literally anchored down. You find it hard to love. You find it hard to trust. But once you forgive, the weight begins to lift. You find a kinder, gentler you. You begin to feel again. Love does not seem like a long-lost friend. You start to attract people who want nothing from you, other than your company. You may not yet be free. But you begin to see freedom on the horizon.
Holding onto grudges blurs the lines. We have a hard time distinguishing who is real, and who is fake. We can’t read energy like we used to. Forgiveness does not mean they will continue to have access to you. But what it does do, is cut the cord between you. For if you don’t forgive, they will continue to rent space in your heart and head. And that’s a big payment. Go ahead and take the loss. We can lose little, or lose big. And it really is not a loss at all. It will feel like it in the beginning stages. But shortly thereafter, you will see that it was not a loss at all. And that’s when your life begins again.
I would not presume to know what it is that you are going through. Neither would I tell you to get over it. What I am saying, is to open yourself to the possibility that it could get better. You’ve mastered suffering. Let’s take this forgiveness thing out for a spin. Who knows? You may be pleasantly surprised. You can always go back to what is safe…the hate. But if you really give yourself a chance, I think you will see the blessing. I instantly forgave the people who ultimately cost my daughter her life. My wife did not. She has come a long way, and I’ll never judge it. I am so proud of how far she has come. I just know for me, if I latched onto the hate, I would feel that it would keep me from my mission. Which was to use the love I have for my daughter and direct it to my clients.
Forgive yourself for not forgiving them in the past. Today is a new day. The possibilities are endless. But not if all we can do is think about those who wronged us. Do yourself a favor and lighten the load. You need you now. The version of you that believes again. That sees beauty again. That knows that you can overcome anything. And while some people may not deserve your forgiveness, forgive them anyway. Do it for yourself. Because years from now, you don’t want to look back on the time that you gave to the offending party. Be free. Move on. Be love.
Book a one-on-one session with Vance Larson, C.H.H.C., M.Ht, and CTC Life, Life coach and counselor here.