Avoid tension at the Christmas table when criticism arises by remembering that comments about your cooking or how well the tree is decorated are rarely personal — even when they feel that way. At Christmas, emotions often run high, especially when you’ve put in a genuine effort. In these moments, it can be incredibly easy to react impulsively and say something you may later regret. Pausing before responding is one of the most effective ways to keep the atmosphere calm and supportive.
The best course of action is to respond, not react. Before you say or do anything, take a slow, conscious breath and tune into the rhythm of your heartbeat. If it feels fast and agitated — like a lion pacing in a locked cage — continue breathing deeply until it settles into a calmer, steadier pace. This brief pause helps regulate your nervous system and creates space for a thoughtful response.
When you do respond, acknowledge your relative’s input while staying true to yourself. Let them know you appreciate their perspective, while also affirming that you’re happy with the effort you’ve made. Responding with kindness and composure can immediately help avoid tension at the Christmas table, allowing everyone to remain relaxed and enjoy the meal together. Reacting with anger, on the other hand, often escalates the situation and can affect the enjoyment of those around you.
1) Avoid Tension at the Christmas Table When Facing Criticism
Whether it’s about your cooking or how well decorated your tree is, receiving criticism is never easy — particularly when you’ve put in a genuine effort. During emotionally charged moments like these, it can be very easy to react rather than respond. Learning how to pause is one of the simplest ways to avoid tension at the Christmas table and prevent small comments from escalating into larger conflicts.
The best course of action is to respond, not react. Before you say or do anything, take a slow, conscious breath and tune into the rhythm of your heartbeat. If it feels fast and agitated — like a lion pacing in a locked cage — continue breathing deeply until it settles into a calmer, steadier pace. This brief pause helps regulate your nervous system and gives you the space needed to choose a more considered response, which is essential if you want to avoid tension at the Christmas table.
When you do respond, acknowledge your relative’s input while staying true to yourself. Let them know you appreciate their perspective, while also affirming that you’re happy with the effort you’ve made. Responding with kindness and composure can quickly defuse a situation and help avoid tension at the Christmas table, allowing everyone to relax and enjoy the moment. Reacting with anger, on the other hand, often escalates the interaction and affects the atmosphere for everyone else.
If criticism feels personal, try to look beneath the words. For example, if your mother-in-law comments that the roast potatoes could be fluffier, resist the urge to snap back. Instead, consider where the comment may be coming from. Perhaps cooking Christmas lunch has traditionally been her role, or she’s finding it difficult to let go as family dynamics change.
Criticism of this kind rarely reflects a true judgment of you — it more often comes from insecurity or a desire to feel useful. Asking how she would have prepared the potatoes, or inviting her to help with dessert, can help her feel valued and turn a potentially tense moment into an opportunity for connection — another powerful way to avoid tension at the Christmas table.
2) Managing Embarrassment to Avoid Tension at the Christmas Table
From being the butt of a joke in front of your significant other’s family to breaking a wine glass after one too many, embarrassing situations happen to the best of us.
But feeling embarrassed can sometimes be overwhelming. It’s easy to escalate a single emotion until you have convinced yourself the whole family hates you and you’re an awful human being.
It’s important to remember we are not our feelings. The emotions we feel do not define us. Thoughts and feelings come and go, it is the essence of who we are that is constant, and you are not consistently embarrassing! Try this; when a situation arises that causes you embarrassment, do as the Buddha suggests and name the feeling. Say to yourself, “oh look, I am experiencing embarrassment.”
Look at the emotion, where does it manifest in your body? How does it affect your thoughts? Observing emotions in this way takes away your ownership of the feeling, giving you space to experience it and allow it to pass on. Feeling embarrassed is a very healthy emotion, but holding on to that feeling and letting it affect how you see yourself is not healthy. Be kind to yourself; you are a beautiful soul having a human experience!
3) Avoid Tension at Christmas When Asked About Your Love Life
Many people identify worth with whether someone has a partner or spouse. Family members who love you want to see you happy, but generational gaps can mean they don’t understand how happiness can is achievable on your own.
It can be easy to feel as if you are justifying or defending your life choices around relatives. First, remember the questions come from a place of love. Many people show love through anxiety. Phrases such as “you’re so beautiful, why are you wearing that?” or “when I was your age, I was already married with three kids” can sound incredibly rude and confronting.
As hard as it is to believe, there is no malice behind these words. Society tells us to look for happiness within another human and it is only in the last twenty years or so that we are starting to focus more on finding happiness within. Therefore, your parents and grandparents might not fully understand this concept, believing you are not complete until you have found a partner.
Try not to take it personally. Stand firm in your answer and maybe you can enlighten your family on the importance of self-love?
4) Avoid Tension at Christmas Around Disappointing Presents
Feelings of disappointment and bitterness are prevalent when significant events hold a lot of expectations. It can be hard not to get your hopes up when the whole year has been leading up to this moment. Having expectations about an event, or of a person, is normal psychological behaviour, but is something us humans need to try and limit.
Approaching scenarios with no prior assumption of the outcome means you are free to enjoy the moment and all its surprises. Try this; before you sit down to exchange gifts, say to yourself “I am happy to be here with my family. Anything more is a bonus.” By allowing yourself to be content with the simple act of being together, receiving presents won’t be viewed with such high expectation. Then, when your grandmother disappoints you with a pair of cheap socks, you can appreciate the fact she thought of you at all.
5) Navigating an Intoxicated Family Member at Christmas
It’s a common misconception that alcohol is necessary to have a good time, and the act of drinking until drunk is so ingrained in Western culture that it can be challenging to know when to cut someone off. Asking someone to slow down with their alcohol intake could be met with embarrassment and sometimes aggression. Choosing your timing and wording is important here. Excessive drinking can be a sign of broader emotional issues, so it’s important to take the situation seriously.
Consider offering water next time the person asks for another drink. Usually, that will be enough for them to realise they have gone too far. If they are acting uncharacteristically unfavourable and you typically have a good relationship with said person, consider finding a moment away from the party to gently encourage them to act more appropriately.
Keep an eye on how regularly they get excessively drunk as it could be a sign of underlying issues that need addressing in the future.
6) Supporting Children’s Emotions During Christmas
Anyone under the age of 10 is likely to find Christmas time overwhelmingly exciting. With the noise, food, gifts, and heightened emotions all happening at once, excitement can quickly tip into overwhelm. Without support, this surge of energy can make it harder to avoid tension at the Christmas table, particularly during long meals or busy family moments.
When children are given healthy outlets for their energy, they are far less likely to become disruptive. Making time to genuinely engage with them — even briefly — helps them feel seen and emotionally regulated. While Christmas places many demands on adults, focused playtime supports a child’s development and helps everyone settle more easily when the family comes together again.
Allowing children to release energy away from shared meals can also be incredibly helpful. A family walk, outdoor play, or time at the local park gives them space to move their bodies and reset. Time in nature is calming for both children and adults, and can make a noticeable difference when you return home and want to avoid tension at the Christmas table.
If you notice your child edging toward a tantrum, refusing to share, or becoming unusually needy, it’s often a sign of emotional overload rather than poor behaviour. Gently take them to a quieter space, come down to their eye level, and speak softly. Let them know you understand how they’re feeling and that they are loved and safe. Breathing together slowly, counting each breath to ten, can help them settle and prevent escalation.
Above all, remember that children are highly sensitive to emotional energy. If you are feeling anxious, stressed, or bracing for conflict, they are likely to pick up on it. Taking small moments to centre yourself — through slow breathing or briefly stepping away — can have a calming ripple effect across the whole family.
Christmas naturally brings emotional highs and lows. If things begin to feel overwhelming, give yourself permission to step away for a moment. Even a few minutes of quiet can help you reset. Softening expectations and noticing small moments of joy — a shared laugh, a peaceful pause, or an act of kindness — can help everyone reconnect more easily.
If you’d like extra support learning practical ways to avoid tension at the Christmas table, Blisspot’s guided microprograms offer simple daily practices designed to help you stay calm, grounded, and connected — during the festive season and beyond.
👉 https://blisspot.com/daily-support
