The Bliss Blog

Removing Drama in Relationships

in Relationships
The Author
Blisspot
Posted on July 14, 2016

Estimated reading time: 5 minutes

We all have emotions; it’s a matter of not resisting or judging them or seeing them as good or bad. Observing them with love and compassion allows them to flow through us in a stress-free way. As I explained in my book Bliss Every Day, all pain is resistance to what is. When we resist our emotions rather than letting them flow through our energetic system, we are reacting to what happens —as opposed to responding to situations— creating pain within our bodies.

Fear of our emotions and pushing them back down into our energetic system (suppression), rather than feeling them and allowing them to flow, can increase their intensity in the long run.

Our bodies want us to gain awareness around the beliefs that aren’t supporting us and driving painful emotions. With awareness, we can replace any limiting beliefs with new ones that support us in feeling happy and content.

All emotions fulfil a purpose; they tell us more about ourselves. For example, if we feel very anxious about an impending exam, it may motivate us to study more. Sometimes inner fear is telling us that we need to avoid a dangerous situation, like swimming in a stormy sea.

Emotions can represent:

  • Anger: strong feelings covering up hurt or fear around needs not being met.
  • Sadness: feelings of sorrow or unhappiness. Underneath this could be because expectations not being met or feelings of being lost or unfulfilled.
  • Jealousy: when someone is envious of someone else’s achievement and can result from feelings of insecurity.

Managing drama

It can be helpful to know the deeper meaning of emotions, so you can better focus on their root cause and heal it. For example, rather than focusing on another person and why you are jealous of them, you can instead focus on confronting, working through and healing any feelings of insecurity you may have.

Looking at your inner world, does take some courage and effort. However, in the long run, it will help you gain emotional mastery and freedom, and you won’t feel as though your emotions are controlling you.

When there is a big emotional charge around a feeling, it is telling us that a repressed emotion is resurfacing for healing. A very strong emotion (disproportionate to the event) is a symptom of something deeper going on. Emotions aren’t bad in themselves; in fact, they can be very, very useful in healing and discovering new and more fulfilling ways of being.

It’s the thoughts in our mind that determine what emotion we are feeling. For example, if we are thinking we cannot believe how stupid we have been for so many mistakes, we may feel sad. If we think the same thought over and over again, it becomes a belief. Beliefs that we think regularly (the negative ones) are thought subconsciously, as we would never intentionally create pain and suffering for ourselves! These beliefs then influence and create our behavioural patterns. Unconscious patterns of behaviour are why we can repeatedly find ourselves in the same situation we are unhappy with or would never want for ourselves.

We also do some things well in our lives; however, usually we are not so focused on our positive thought patterns. Positive thoughts don’t create resistance or pain in our bodies. It is helpful for us to focus on this positive energy and build upon it. Affirming and appreciating this energy will have the effect of expanding it in our lives so negative emotions don’t have power over us.Where focus goes, energy flows!

Denial is when we completely ignore our negative emotions. Denial often keeps us stuck in negative behaviour patterns when we don’t have the awareness or skills to move through the situation and experience it in a better way. When we confront situations that aren’t serving us, we can make changes and develop new and positive beliefs that support us.

  1. Become aware of our thoughts and emotions.
  2. Disentangle ourselves rather than getting caught up in others emotions.
  3. Taking space when we need it.
  4. Taking action on our intuition the things we see that need improving in our life (i.e. not putting up with inappropriate behaviour from others).

Steps to supporting our partner's emotional journey:

  1. Speak our truth.
  2. Appreciate what it is.
  3. Know how to separate our emotions from theirs.
  4. Give space to process emotions.

supporting your partner


For ongoing peace and stability, it is worthwhile to transcend patterns creating constant emotional drama in relationships. Initially, we can be unaware that we even do this—it can be an unconscious way of being. We may have come from a family where emotional outbursts and things going wrong may be considered normal.

Being conscious is all about the ability to make the best decisions for the highest good of ourselves and our relationships. By developing ways to observe our emotions and the skills to achieve emotional mastery, it is possible to rise above the pain that consistent drama can create in relationships.

 

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To discover more about relationships see: Love Now eCourse 

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